Up

 Dimmed in shadows.

Forgotten memory 

resurfaced in the eyes of regret 

I can see you in there. 

The things you refuse to say.

To feel 💕

 What I just said ten times before by Jessica Singleton 

They said my friends do not like him.

They were not my friends yesterday 

Before I was a queen.

Where did they come from?

They care about me so much

They would rather see me fall apart 

By losing what I love

Then give up a chance 

to use me for a soap box.

They need to feel like 

conductors & astronomers. 

I feel interrogated , 

cornered and abused. 

I feel so alone and ashamed 

of nothing I have done wrong..

He thinks I pushed him 

away for their approval.

I am still trying to figure out 

where they came from 

and why they would 

have me committed 

to an asylum 

if I reject their 

ignorant intolerance. 

I never had to reject him.

He laughed at me and ignored me.

Then he ran away 

with everyone else 

so he could be pleased.

until I was lost and humiliated. 

I will turn away 

Go for a walk

And

They will get so wrapped up 

in arguing with each other

That they will forget about me. 

I never was bilingual to others anyway. 

Blend 

by 

Jessica Singleton 

He’s a beautiful man. He feels so familiar. I just keep staring at him and wanting to say something. You’d think I have known him forever. I feel drawn to him. I wish for him. He makes me want to smile again. I hide it well. I think he’s a gift from above. God knew I needed a distraction that would make me happy. I have no reason to be happy anymore. Then came my new obsession.

Atlas 

by 

Jessica Singleton 

I can recall a sound 

in my memory 

It echoes the thoughts 

and 

the feelings 

that I have 

right now.

I can think of 

a feeling I have 

betrayed myself of.

I feel like 

I should not be 

explaining this.

It must take a 

Sharp objective 

to forcefully 

Know that

You’re going 

to destroy 

Another person’s soul

With both

Clamorous Ignorance 

and 

Immutable cruelty!

You should 

be more careful 

when you go around 

picking up 

other people’s feelings. 

They are not your toys.

Xylophone and Hammer

By

Jessica Singleton 

The pane is stained 

with yesterday’s regret.

I guess you found 

your silver ribbon 

laced redemption.

I hope it gives you back

What you threw away.

That way you 

will never get 

my attention 

just to offer me 

a jigsaw of words 

that you’ll only take back. 

And

Hand over to someone else.

Nickel and dime.

Wooden blocks stacked.

Pieces of time.

Wooden coin can 

afford as much 

intentional rain.

Did I react enough?

Did it please you 

to see me this way?

You do not care.

I am sorry you made me feel again.

Happy Thanksgiving 2022

 I had an un traditional Thanksgiving and I am happy with that. I had roast beef, sweet potatoes and a buttered biscuit. I made sugar free brownies for dessert. 

Thanks to Phillsbury and Splenda for making a diabetic friendly brownie mix.

As the Pepperidge Farm commercial says, “ Never have an ordinary day. “

New idea

 Inconsistent intentions 

By Jessica aka me

If I were a poet in a northern country- I would probably drink away any reason to care why I write my life down in codes. 

If the Morris Code people ever deciphered my words, I would break their heart into a minefield wreckage.

I found a story of a tale once. Always the same photographs about a woman who loved a man so much that she ran away to be next to him. She chose him over her own family.

I tell my tale in my own way.

As they say in the fairytales-

Once upon a time in a darkened forest, there stood a tiny silver castle. It looked like a charm or birdhouse. It had tiny stained glass windows and a small draw bridge. 

The trees of this forest were filled with monarchs and robins. 

The wind sounded like a xylophone when it echoed through the songs of birds. 

The forgotten palace of the lost princess. 

There once was an archer that performed for king in his spare time as a jester. 

He met the princess on accident. 

He had been playing around with a knight suit and the princess thought he was a prince. 

He told her the truth and it did not matter. 

She started watching him perform and she fell in love with him. 

So the princess started requesting the jester to perform for her privately. 

Eventually she would walk up to him while they were alone and she would kiss him until they started having an affair.

He was her lover. 

When they were caught, her father hired a  gypsy to shrink the princess. She became thin and small the size of a doll. The king had a castle built the size of bird house and put the princess in a dark forest alone. Her soul fell apart without her lover. And turned into millions of monarchs. Her cries were so loud that they turned into ravings of song birds. 

She waited for him to find her but he would not know what happened to her because the king locked him away in a dungeon.

He found a arrowhead and picked his own lock. He became free and he went to find her. 

When they were reunited, she was so small he had to treat her like glass. He was gentle with her. 

He promised her he would never break her. 

She promised him she would never leave him for another,

He took her to a different Gypsy. The new Gypsy fixed the damage the king caused and they lived happily ever after. 

I will come back later to finish this.

Movie night @ Roku

 I finally found a way to watch 

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. 

He is a born entertainer as they say. I was entertained and I am glad I got to watch it. Daniel was so believable as an Al. I like Al. I mean that.

Happy Halloween 2022

 Happy Halloween to the world tonight! 🎃🎃🙀👻☠️🤡👻☠️💀🎃

My own words

 I’ve become a dictator holding onto a monster that’s eating me alive. 

I’ve become the creator of my own demise. 

I’ve fought hard enough to stand up on my own and most days all those choices I fly around are what knocks me down on my face. 

There are black and white movies filled with screams and fear of the creature lurking in the dark.

I find it entertaining to watch the monster more then the helpless victim.

I judge the ignorance of society  as it looks the other way rather than at my life while I become a silent film victim. I cannot find the strength to scream anymore. On the inside I am white noise.

In memory of a Queen 🇬🇧

 I do not find anything funny about her death. I am sorry she passed away. 

So -

Because I do respect her.....

From Tuesday September 20 , 2022 until the following Tuesday - I will live in silence. I will only speak when I don’t have a choice. I will not watch any movies. I will not listen to music. I will only report anything in a silent manor in writing. 

Out of sincere respect. 

I don’t know how I come off but I will try harder to display myself to where I am understood. 

I have been sleeping in my living room

 I have my bed in my living room.

Don’t ask.

My bathroom

 I decided to show off my crystal ball. I decorated my bathroom with things that I already had. 

So here it is-

Art from the Internet

 That one piece came from a “ Mostly Ghostly “ book. Story of  “ Lost Hearts “