Have you ever noticed

It is early. I should say it is late.  I have not been to bed yet.  I hate going through stupid pointless sh;t.

What I hate more, is dumb fake people walking around me like I need to atone to their knees for their mistakes.

I do not try to replace people.  Don't put words in my mouth.

It is odd how good bad food taste at 3 am.  It is like it went from nah to a delicate rare drop of fresh water.

I was listening to music while ago.  It helps some times to unwind to candles and music.  I like my new Aaron Lewis CD.
He is a poetic at heart.  He can write.

I was listening to Genesis and the Smashing Pumpkins.  That is just fresh air and it feels like therapy to calm myself by my own thoughts for a while.

I am done repeating myself.
It is there for all to see.

I think my song choices for the night would be;
1. Let it be
2. No Son of Mine by Genesis
3. Today by The Smashing Pumpkins
4. Drive by REM
5. A boat lies waiting by David Gilmour
6. Have a drink on me BY   A C / D C
7. One by U2
8. Quick Sand by David Bowie

Candle Night Light (A fictional story by me; written around 1:40 AM )

                                                                Candle  Night  Light

                                                   A fictional Story;  by  Jessica  Singleton


                        This is a free style story.  I love Halloween.  Fall is on it's way. Thank God for no more heat.  Anyway I have only great memories from the fall.  So seeing that fall is coming, why not tell a spooky story.    I have wrote a lot of Halloween stories.  But this one does not go in the freaky death parts like the others.  This one is a lot like a story that I wrote called Ickobod's Halloween.  This is a fictional story that will not happen anywhere.



     Once upon a time, there lived a normal family.  A dad, mom and three kids.  They were not poor and they were not rich.  They were just living fine.  The mom was a nurse.  The dad worked on the rail road.  The teenage boy was just a normal kid.  The two smaller children were twins.  The boy's name was Vincent.  The little girl's name was Maria.
   
  The thing about Vincent and Maria was that they had battled cancer ever since they were 2 years old.  Their parents had spent most of their money traveling around looking for doctors.  The doctors had always done what they could.  But their best was never enough.
The children did not know what it was like to not be sick.  They did not know what it was like to not be in pain.  Most of their birthday's or Halloweens were spent not celebrating.  Only because they were too ill for that.

   One day their mom put her application in with a new hospital in a bigger town.  She got the job.  So the family moved to up state new England.

When they got there, their mom took them to the Cancer treatment center of America.  The doctor's found out what was wrong and They healed the kids.
It was great news for the children and their parents.
Seeing that Halloween was coming, and the kids had a birthday on October 15th....

Their mom decided this year, they would all have a big celebration....
The kids were going to be 7 years old.
But the family did not have much money.  Most of their family savings had gone on the move and the hospitals bills.

No problem, they had three apple trees in the back yard.  So their mom took the candy they had bought to give out on Halloween and she melted it down.  Then she dipped the apples in the melted candy.  Then she rolled the apples in spices and oatmeal.  Then she baked the candied apples in the oven. 

The apples came out sweet and soft like a fritter or a twice baked apple.  The kids loved the apples.

For Halloween, their mom did not have money for a costume so the kids dressed up as ghost. Maria wanted to leave something outside for the dead.  Her mother did not want to argue with her daughter.  She was just glad that her baby was not going to die.
So the little girl told her mother what the story books say.;

That the dead walk the earth one night out of the year.  You have to leave them an offering.  That way they do not trick you.  Maria went to the attic.  She got an old cast iron pan that looked like the pots that witches carry on their broom sticks in the pictures.  Then she told her mom they should make a candle out of grease that was left over on the stove.  They used a strip of leather for the wick.  They carved their pumpkin and they put the candle in.  The small pumpkin sat in the middle of the big pan. They put some candied apples around the candle.  Then they put nuts and bread crumbs.  That Halloween the kids went trick or treating.  They wanted to stay out as late as possible.  The town had the people trick or treat on the Friday before Halloween.  Because Halloween fell on a school night.   The next morning, all the apples and stuff was still on the porch.  Then Vincent did not wake up.  His mother thought he was dead.  She called the EMT's and 911.  They said he was dead.  They took him to the hospital.  Then his mom got a call saying he was in a coma.  That did not make sense.  Why would they say he was dead if he was alive?  The good news of Vincent not being dead was good enough.  On October 31st, Maria told her mother to re light the candle.  So she did.  That night when it was late, the mom went outside to put the candle out.  She was smoking a cigarette and checking her cell phone messages when a small child walked up to her porch.  His costume was better then anything in the stores.  He looked like something out of a black and white movie.

The little boy said;  " Mrs, do you mind?  Can you leave the light on?  I am cold and it is my night light."

"Sure why not."

   She was a mom.  He was just a little boy.  He went up and he got a candied apple.  She smiled and walked back into the house for the night.  The next morning the apples were gone.  But her cell phone went off.  It was the hospital.  Vincent was alive and awake.  This was the best news.  The kids started to heal.  The cancer was gone for good.

    A few years later when life went back to normal, the mom ask the twins what they wanted to be for Halloween?  The kids wanted to be ghost again.  Even though the mom could now afford to buy them a costume, they still insisted on being ghost.  So the kids went out with their big brother for trick or treating.  That night the mom went outside to put the candle out.  There was a little boy and he ask if she'd leave the light on again.  She offered him a piece of store bought candy.  He did not see it , even when she handed it to him.  So he ask if she had any mints.  She did and he was a cute lil guy.  So she went in the house and she got him a piece of candy out of her purse.  It was odd that he could not see the store bought candies.  She said nothing.

Years later when the twins were in college.  Life had moved on.  With no kids in the house anymore, Halloween was nothing to deal with.  One dark Halloween night the mom did not make a candle.
The next morning, her husband Corey was dead.  The doctors said he had heart problems from lighting too many cigarettes.

Years passed and every year the mom would light the candle.  When she was in her 90's she lived in a nursing home.  One Halloween, she kept raving to the nurses about lighting candles made of animal fat inside of pumpkins.
The nurses thought that she was just old and nuts.  They sent her to her room early for bed.  She cried on her pillow.  That night she went to her tiny bathroom and when she came out to get back into bed, she saw the little boy from many years ago.
The little boy smiled at her.  She ask him why he was there?  The child said; "You are going to die from Cancer.  Everyone will think it is your arthritis but it will be cancer.  It is not Halloween...  It is old age.  See when I was a child, I died young.  No one cared about me.  I walked around in darkness and cold.  You left a night light on with your pumpkin.  I can only see things from my world.  The reflection from this side of it, is different then it is for you.  You kept me warm and you fed me .  You do not have to do anymore.  But I would like to give you a gift for you kindness. "

The little boy walked over and he took her hand.  He said,  "Now you will die of old age but in peace.  No harm will come to you.  When it is your time, then you'll slip away.  Do you still have any of those mints? "

She did in her purse.  She would give them to her grand kids when they'd visit her.
Then the little boy disappeared and when she woke up in the morning her arthritis pain was no more.  She lived a peaceful pain free life until she was in her late 90's.  Then she passed away peacefully in her sleep one dark Halloween Night.

                                                         THE    END

Don't spill the Beans

When I was a little girl, my aunt babysat me once.  She had this board game for kids.  She had two sons.  Anyway, she played the game with me.  The game was called Don't Spill The Beans.  The point of that game was to keep putting beans on top of each other.  Then with the right amount of balance and hope you could get rid of all of your bean pile without knocking the pile over.  You also had to hope that the other person would spill before you.  That way you'd win.  

It is funny how lies are.  They are like that game, only in a snow ball effect.  You tell one lie and then another, in hopes that you'll get out of whatever it is that you did or did not want to do.

I did not lie.  All my mistakes are live and well.  No Life in general got me thinking about that game.

How life is a balancing act between what to do and how much to let in.  There is a thought from another.

Oh The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss;

"Just remember to be tactful and remember that life is a great balancing act."

People lie.
They do lie a lot in life.
No one cares about that lie unless it effects them.  So if they get paid, then it is okay.
It is okay to begin with because they got what they wanted.

People with holes in their pockets should not get to eager to fill those same pockets up.
You'd be surprised how much you will lose by associating with the wrong people.
More then you had to lose, I am sure.

I am not a happy person.  I am not going to kill myself.  But I am not happy.  If you are a child then you go to your mommy when you are upset.
I am 36 years old, so it is too late to go to my mommy.
Now when you're an adult, then you go do something about it yourself.
That is what you do.

I do not have to put on a show.
I am not selling anything.
No nothing  is for sale here.

So I do not have to pull out a bag of tricks.
I do not know what to say.
I am not a bad person.
I do not take from other people.
I do not steal from other writers.
But at the same time;
I do not like people in my face.
I do not like people threatening me.

So I do not have much to say.
I guess if you want to do something about it, then you should not talk about it.
You should not give the guilty the right to run.
They treated you like a cornered rabbit.
Let them feel the hands of Karma in a 360 grip.

I got some shoes to wear.

I got online and I bought me a pair of shoes to wear. I do not get out much. I have no time when I do go out.  It just seems easier to shop online.  They have not come yet.  Five to seven business days.  I am okay with that.
My Nikes are good for now.  Happy choice.
My Tool Order comes today. I wish I did not have to point this out.
I think that I will read a lot today.