The think page

I hope the senators pass the 2000 stimulus.

How I feel

 I am not sure how to express myself because I am to paranoid to say what I know to be true. I am up late hours again. People try and tell me what I already know. I think they want to take credit for something or they want to convince themselves that they are bossing me around.  Someone asked me about my playlist. They were curious what music I like. I listen to everything I guess. 

Here lately if I made a COVID-19 playlist, well this is how I feel-

1. Three Imaginary Boys by The Cure

2. Shameless Son by ARO 

3. Break My Fall by Breaking Benjamin 

4. Israel’s Son by Silverchair 

5. Let it Be by The Beatles

6. A Boat Lies Waiting by David Gilmour 

7. All Hell’s Breaking Loose by Kiss

8. Credit in The Straight World by Hole

9. Don’t fear The Reaper by The Blue Oyster Cult

10. I’m afraid of Americans by David Bowie

11. It is Well With my Soul

I was hacked on my google email

 I don’t understand. I don’t like this. I am sick of pointless charades . It’s dumb. I am not some negligent irresponsible twit leaving open opportunities for criminals. I never did anything in my entire life to call this upon myself. 

I can’t wait for the day they finally get into trouble for all the insanity and inhumanity they bestowed upon me.  I could careless about being nice or how it would effect them. They are losers. 

Window Diary by me

 Window Diary

By

Jessica S

I saw a tall pale man standing in the display window the other day. 

He had a blank canvas inside his own window. 

I kept looking at my own feet. It was like I drew a card that didn't have a face.

I studied my feet for a while and then I realized how much I wanted to talk to him.

It felt like being thirsty and insane with his presence.

He was so thin and silent.

My paranoia kept reminding me of aborted fetuses screaming as they were rejected. 

I can't do this.

And then I actually spoke to him. 

He was aware of the noise.

He looked around for a few minutes and then he looked down to see me. 

I almost choked as I swallowed my own pride. 

The man was a lot of everything else I can relate to but we are so different and I watched as he turned away. He managed to step on my shoes as he departed. 

He didn't think very much of me at all.

If I had not said stop hurting me, he would have gone on standing there. Because I didn't matter at all. 

The men inside my head

 They are right I don’t have much to say. I am not in a bad mood. 

Random ideas

Cats look good sleeping in the window 

Books are doorways 

I feel compassion and understanding towards anyone in the world who has ever been broken down or hurt by their own inner circle.

I am glad that most of that is over.

It gets difficult when all you feel is pain.

If there was only a cure to speedily get through heartbreak. 

Sorry I don’t know of anything on that either. 

It’s probably best if I don’t talk because I will come off like an obnoxious fortune cookie.

Those talking ouija boards would probably be better companionship. 

I have a goal though.

I honestly have no idea how I am going to accomplish this but I want to make someone sad smile. 

They are probably not going to smile unless they are diverting my attention to be nice. I don’t mean that insulting towards me.

Actually this is to personal.

I feel like an asshole for even posting this. 

X spot boy 

He doesn’t notice his reflection 

Because he is looking over his shoulder at what he does not want to leave behind 

I feel so sorry for him

I almost want to try

Something I never knew how to do

I want to pick up the pieces and hand him back his lie

But I can’t 

Because I don’t want to hurt him

Anymore then she did

He is not ready 

And I am to self conscious 

—-

Pale suitcase 

Ideas 

He carried a vintage case with a collection of memories 

He doesn’t live in the present 

Because 

He lives in his past

He is only happy there

Until 

He 

I am still alive and I am not a identity theft scandal

 My birth certificate says the name I was awarded at birth by my mother is Jessica Anne Singleton. The man listed on my birth certificate told me that he was not my father and that my mother cheated on him so much that he didn’t know who my father was. 

Well the man listed on my birth certificate is David Ray Singleton. 

So legally and or until I go to court to change my name, my legal and only name is Jessica Anne Singleton.

I would love to legally change my last name but I am not rich.

I am 40 years old and I will be 41 in December 2020. 

I never meet people.

So I doubt I will ever get married.

I don’t care. 

Sounds like a hassle anyway. 

I am tired of being abused, robbed and slandered because everyone wants to coverup their mistakes. 

I am not sure what is going on in England but they don’t speak for me.

I am not a liar 

I am still myself 

I am not wearing a mask or bodysuit 

I am a woman 

I am not a burn victim 

I have a birthmark that covers half of my face

I am not pretending to be someone else 

I really am Jessica Singleton 

I am still alive

I have never been arrested 

I am not sure what is going on 

I don’t have proof 

But

I am probably going to press charges 

No one is settling outside of court

I am not dying because I am fat

I am not 400 pounds
I am not dying from being fat

This has nothing to do with me 

I am on Twitter again.
I don’t know what to say

Life is hard

Happy Independence Day to the world

Happy 4th of July!🌌
I hope everyone is safe.
I didn’t bother buying fireworks because
The noise from the fireworks
Would probably scare my cats
I have been watching movies and eating
I also started cleaning up 🧹
I ate barbecue chicken
Corn on the cob
🍟
French Fries
A cheese burger
Apple pie
And watermelon 🍉

I am now stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey 🦃

I had an idea for a piece of art for my living room. I would have to make it.

It’s a darkened room

Hard stone floors

A plastic ball is in the floor 

Not a beach ball 

Green and blue striped ball with yellow and red stars on it

It makes me think of childhood and circuses 

A chain hangs with a small brass bell on it

Instead of a light bulb

A strange wooden chair sits alone 

They want to steal from me but I don’t want them to 

They are not entitled to my sketch pads or my things because they have never done enough 

They are not good enough 

I don’t want them burning my house down 

My phone is not letting me call

I tried making a call on my phone. It is silent or it drops the call completely. The speaker button is not working at all. So I reported it to AT&T. They don’t know what is wrong. They said that they would look into it.

I don’t think it’s by chance.

I think someone is trying to block me from getting somewhere with my case or they are trying to steal something.

I have a headache and I don’t like this.

National Doll Day

Today is National Doll Day!
I am a fan of dolls!
I am an adult and I still collect.

So this is an amazing day.

I am so happy this is great news.

Better than the 5 o’clock circus.

Original idea by only me

I came up with an original idea for a story.

It’s about putting leprechauns with vampires 
Mixed breed 

Here is an insert 

Leprechauns were a bloodsucking greedy creature that stole other people’s money and hid it in a black caldron. Leprechauns were called chauns because they coned with with a charm. Most mortals see gold or anything shiny and they want to pick it up. But it’s a trap. You cannot steal or borrow what is not yours. Once the onlooker even touches the gold, it is the time the leprechaun will spring out of no where. They will bite. The human is drained of everything and they disappear as though they never existed. Do not touch a leprechauns gold. 

I am not voting for trump

I will never vote for Donald trump
I hope he doesn’t get a second term

Writing ideas by Jessica Singleton

I need the cat to be calm
I need the blue pill to calm me
We are scratching at our own nerves 
Because we are 
running out of string to fly our kites 

If I was going to write another book 

Or poem 

Ideas  

When it rains 

When they say 

It's all

All going to be okay 

I know 

Somewhere in the back of my mind 

Everything is still grey

And the night 

Is mixing into 

The days

And 

I'm walking through 

Everyone else's 

Opinions 

That they are passing off 

As conversations

Moments so fragile 

Passed around so nonchalantly 

And I am still 

Surrounded in this empty room

-

Story line idea

Bourbon  is a dog that hangs around the docks

Contractors think he is cute. So everyday the dog is treated to lunch by grown men

They call the dog bourbon because of the color of his fur.

One day they teach the dog to sit and fetch. 

When the contractors are finished working on the house, they realize that the dog thinks he has a home. The expensive townhouse apartment is owned by a rich man who doesn't understand why a mut dog is standing on marble flooring.

" I paid you to build my new business. Did I pay for pups? "

The contractors feel sorry for the dog. The new owner yells at the dog. The men go find the dog. One of the men take the dog home. He has a son who is always getting told no by his grandmother. The dog had been alone most his life. Everyone kept telling the dog to go away. Or they would say no in hopes that the dog knew they didn't want it around. 

The boy and the dog become best friends 

It's funny and cute

The story ends with the boy teaching the dog to play messenger. The dog brings a valentine to the lady next door so his dad can go out with her. 

The lady has a cat named Oscar wild. Every time Oscar gets on anything- the dog barks twice. So the young woman asked why the dog does that? 

They tell her that the grandmother scolded the dog once. She told the dog when no is the answer- you bark twice so I know that you understand me. The boy and the dog are young, so they have been told no a lot. 

-

Spooky 

Vivian is a great mom to her son. Her son has a way of seeing things that no one else can. For most of the boys life, people assumed he was mentally challenged. Until the truth came out and everyone saw them. 

The truth came out when the boy used his allowance to buy a vintage monkey and a weird lamp from a yard sale. He wanted to be Aladdin but he got haunted instead.

Whatever came with the monkey was not human. It was a creature that ate soul

Happy Memorial Day on Monday to the United States 🇺🇸

I am posting this early
So I do not forget.
Thank you to the men and women
who defend our country.

Even to the ones who keep us
safe on a daily basis ,
like the police , emt workers ,  ice and the national guard.

Happy Memorial Day Monday.
I am sorry to all the
people who lost a family member
because they died in the line of duty.

Happy Mother’s Day

Tomorrow is a holiday.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.
They say to wear a white flower
If your mother is dead
And
A colored flower if she is alive
I hope everyone remembers
to say I love you to their moms
Because
she should know
before it’s to late

R . I .P

I am sorry to hear the news about Roy.
Great show and he will always be respected.
Roy Horn, of famous Las Vegas duo Siegfried and Roy,

Story idea by me

I'm inspired by French art / artist 🎨
Random story ideas
I don't know yet

She chose him 

because 

his hands looked untouched 

and innocent.

She was in love 

with his beautiful voice 

and gorgeous face 

She nicknamed him 

the jewelry box man 

because he looked like 

something in a treasure box

He was kept in a locket 

So no one would know 

Just how much she cared

But his hands were smooth 

and perfect 

because 

he had no hardship experience 

And he was careless 

with her heart

Until he dropped it 

and it shattered 

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

" Because after all, a person's a person, 
no matter how small! " - Dr. Seuss 

I hope that you find 
the luck that you seek
 and
 I hope that you are blessed. 

If you happen to stumble upon a tiny man 
Who happens to be 
Polishing tiny shoes,
Don't steal his gold.

Because it's very rude. 

Art credit ( Brian Froud )

Paper kites

By 

Jessica singleton 

There once was a little girl who loved to play in the sand.

She loved the wind combining her hair and she loved to build castles by the water.

One March day, her mother said the wind was too strong and the water was to high for the little girl to play by the sand.

Today she would have to stay on dry land.

The little girl's  eyes filled with tears.

So her father suggested she fly a kite.

The little girl had never heard of a kite.

Her father went to the garage and he cut some wood and string. He found a plastic tarp and let the little girl paint on it with flowers.

Her father took her to the beach and she flew a kite and she had a great time.

When the little girl grew up into a beautiful woman, 

She met a man who did not know how to talk to her correctly.

He loved her dearly but he was not good with communication.

He did not want to lose her. So he invited her to the beach for a date.

He remembered her childhood memories that she shared.

So he stood in the wind and he looked into her eyes and he said,

" I love only you. I'm sorry I am not good at romance novel endings. So let me try the truth. "

He went to the car and he brought her a kite.

When he let it fly, she saw what he wrote on the front of the kite.

It said,

" I didn't have people to talk to and I never cared until I met you. Now I want to marry you because I can't live without you."

Her eyes filled with tears and she said,

" yes "

The End 

The sea shell 

By

Jessica singleton 

In another world,

In another space of time that I have never seen until now.

The most beautiful child was born from a shell.

Soft and white

Clear and bright in the moonlight.

He lived on the ocean floor, until the day that I met you.

I don't breathe under water and you never lived on the surface.

But I know in my heart that somewhere you once existed and I love you. 

Happy Presidents' Day

Happy Birthday to Washington
And
Happy Presidents' Day to America! 
⭐️🇺🇸⭐️

The cat companion truth

I have a headache. Apparently I don't drink enough water.
So that is something I will have to work on. I love soda pop drinks. I'm 40 years old and I still love soda pop.
I have been reporting my situation all over the place. I am praying that life gets better.
My cats are mean.

Some times I think they know right from wrong and they purposely do the stuff that they are not supposed to do.

That sounds crazy.
I assure you, it's not.

My cats are horrible House company. I gave the Siamese away. I really can't afford 6 cats. I also cut my hair off. It's not like I created a hair trend. It looks vintage like Rosemary's baby or single white female.

Living in silence due to fear
makes me talk in a rambling sort of way.
My conversations are all over the place.

I have become so frustrated
with this mess that everyone leaves
 for me that I ignore it too. So I have to start cleaning
 up my house more.
I think my depression, being un - medicated
Is a bit of my laziness but in all fairness
I'm sick of being punished for what others do.