Walk The Line

God love J Cash.... This is not about him.  God rest his soul.  They went to the Casino to eat. I ate a sandwich while ago.  I think that dog wants a treat.  I took him outside for a bit.  I went out today.  Meaning I checked my balance at the ATM, then the post office to check my po box.  Then I went to United.  I was live on Face Book with it.  Yet Face Book has not posted it.  They say we'll let you know;  Like it is now blamed on the assholes who did  not deserve to win an Oscar.

Me reading out loud

I stayed home today. I thought that I would read out loud. So here it is. Yes I can read. Sometimes I actually read out loud in my bedroom.  Most of the time I just read silently. I timed myself on my cell phone of me reading out loud. It takes me a minute and 30 seconds to read each page. I am having a hard time uploading tonight.
They are getting rid of their net here. I dono how that will effect things. I have net on my cell phone.  I dono how well that will go.

I am Sorry

  I went out today to Walmart to deal with that CD situation again.  I guess I did not check my email before I went there.  Walmart and that Deep Discount company issued me a refund on that CD that did not show up.  So all is well there.
  I went by my PO BOX.  I got a bill and then junk in the mail.  I also walked into the part of the post office where people work.  I ask if anything fell out of the Annika envelope that was sent a few weeks back?  The post office has not at all found any checks or foreign money laying about.  I did not think that they would.  I will deal with that another day.
   The envelope was opened when I got it out of my po box. I know for a fact that nothing was in the floor and my box was not open.  I also know that I got an email from Annika where she said that there is no more money and that she did not send me money in the US mail.

   So that is odd that money was sent and then just went missing.

  I was not here today.  We left right after 2 PM and we got back a few hours later.  I have read out loud a few times but I've been silent.  I am not ever going to say that it was okay what Michael did in that parking lot.  That whole family is a joke on wheels.

Fictional story Hindsight

                                                               Hindsight 
                                                                     By;
                                                          Jessica  Singleton

  "  Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. " - Ernest Hemingway 

                              The depth of most people's opinions are about as intense as their vision range.  Sometimes when they talk , you cannot even squint to see it.  I am sorry if that was rude but it is the truth.  Why lie and tell the world that Santa Claws is a real person?  While you're at it, let them know about the Easter Bunny.  I was watching TV one time and they had this special about cats.  There was this famous author who left his entire estate to cats.  His cats no less.  I swear to you now.  God be with it.  That man was not considered insane.  Not at all.  Thank God though.  Just think of how one would look if they made a decision that no one wanted to hear.  I guess as long as it meows then no one can say that you're crazy.  The point of that is ; people only question your mind when you disagree with them.  So just say yes and nod your head like a bobble headed crack head in an alley.  That way you always fit in with the norm.   The American Dream;  Get a fat wife who will bring you a plate of food and have a child that is white and as pissignorant as you are.  That way no one thinks that you're gay.

    I spend most of my time behind a piece of glass.  I take pictures for a magazine.  Art in photography is my past time.  I like to read too.  But taking pictures is just much more relaxing to me.  I get to look for art in the things around me.  Then I get to bring still objects to life , so that the whole world can see them the way that I see them.  

     So I wanted to use my vacation time this year to drive around and to take pictures.  It sounded amazing to visit old homes.  Those big Victorians that usually exist upstate.  I drove my car around to see them all.  I did too.  That was a breath of fresh air.  I slept in, showered, and then drove with the windows down and U2 playing on my CD player.  I took three CD's with me.  I knew I would not be on the road that much.
U2 , Tool , And Alice In Chains....

     I ate at this diner that sits on the highway.  I do not venture out with menus much.  I get soda pop or iced sweet tea.  Then whatever comes on a plate is basically a sandwich.  

    I found this house that had it's own graveyard attached to it.  The whole family died in the 1700's.  The man who once owned the place was an inventor named Toad.  Toad's family started to slowly die after the death of his son.  The son BigToad died when he was just 4 years old.

   The rumor was that he had a cat and the cat was wet.  Then the cat tried to jump into an electric device that Toad Senior was working on.  It electrocuted them both.  Cat and boy.

  Well,  I took lots of pictures.  Then when I got home I noticed that in all the pictures that I took there was a small child in it.  I drove back out there because I did not want that. I assumed some little neighborhood kids thought it'd be funny to get in the way of my photo shot.  No there was no one.   Although when I went back out there I found a necklace.  It looked real.  I took it to a guy that I know.  It was real.  Not only that, it was to have belonged to the woman of that house back in the 1700's.  The necklace was legendary in itself.  

    Some time later when  my photos sold out like beer at a rock concert for men, I had a lot of money.  More then enough to buy a nice Victorian home.  I bought that old Toad house.

What a find.  It was great.  Anyway  

I got the house and all of the antiques in it.  The first night there I found that necklace again.  I guess that I forgot to put it away.

That night a child was standing at the end of my bed.  It was that kid from the pictures.  I started to sit up and to tell him to get the blank out of my home.  Then he pulled out an AX and he chopped off my head like he was George Washington with a cherry tree.

I woke up the next morning .  I was alive but I had a headache.  I looked into that kid.  There was no kid.  He was a ghost.  He was a spiting image of that kid who'd died years ago.  I saw his picture.   He was the only one.  The truth was there.

I also found out what really killed him.

His mother was into black magic.  She needed to shed his blood to help herself out.  So they covered up his death.

                  To get rid of the ghost, I had to set the record straight.  Then once his soul was at rest, then he left the house.


                                                         The  End

Love Poem By me

                                                                   Love
                                                                     By;
                                                          Jessica  Singleton


Questions unanswered fears
Pressed to your face
What I caused to fall out of you
Runs out of your eyes and touches my heart.
It hurts to see you cry.
Part of me dies too.
Wishes turned to fear.
Numbers of days that pass by until
the day that this nightmare turns to reality
or I realize that you like me too.
Begged and pardoned.
Did I make you cry again.?
I will not again.
I should lock my feelings up.
Mostly because I do not want to get used to you.
I am so afraid that you'll run away
or that you'll hurt me too.
They all want to barrow what they cannot pay back.
They laugh at my pain and they hold whats dear.
They just throw it all away.
I watch everything that I love die in someone else's arms.
They care so much that they do not care what they take away from me.
As long as it does not force them to their knees.
You mean a lot to me.
You are priceless and I wish you only freedom.
Even if it means my loss.
I would never keep you locked inside.

The Far Side of Lost by Jessica Singleton Fictional story

                                                                     The   Far   Side  of  Lost

                                                                                        By;

                                                                           Jessica   Singleton

                                                                            ( Fictional Story )



                         If I was allowed one apology then would that mean that only one person wanted to hear that I fucked up?  I was just wondering why I only got one chance to say anything for that matter. 


                               Bill worked nights at a shipping company.  He would have saved up for college years ago but life got in the way of that.  Now he worked two jobs.  One at night packing things and one taking care of his elderly mother Sarah.  Bill's favorite time of the day was when he was done with both of his jobs.  He'd sit in a chair on the porch and he'd read a book.  His mother could not understand anything anymore. So she did not talk , other then to say no or yes.  The jerks that he worked with were pathetic excuses for humans.  Everything out of their mouth made Bill feel abused just to hear it and it was not an insult or a cuss word.  They just had small minds that babbled nonsense.  He never really had any friends in life.  He'd lived most of his life alone.  Reading books was like hearing a great speaker give a lecture on something that woke you up inside.  To hear anyone else talk for a few minutes and it not sound like shit was amazing.

There was a guy at Bills work named Taxdiry.  He was a weird fellow.  He was tall and thin but he just looked bunchy in the face.  Like someone took a puppet head off one of those old dummies and then glued it to the top of a tall man's body.  And that is about what that man's head was worth.  Empty pile of wood chips.  Taxdiry was a boss man.  He had a college degree in mechanics.  How in the hell a guy like that graduated college is more of a mystery then the Lighthouse of Alexandria.  Taxdiry wore this cheap men's cologne named spiked date.  The only reason that he knew that was that he kept the bottle in his locker at work.  He'd spray it on himself when he got to work everyday.  That stinky stuff smelled like one of those cardboard air fresheners that you get a gas station mixed with hair spray.  

Taxdiry was always mouthing off about blacks or Mexicans.  There were none that worked there.  They lived in a fairly small town.  Mostly old white people.

One night after work Bill went to a dinner for a cup of coffee.  He did not want to go home yet.  He knew that his mother was in the hospital again.  He knew that it was just another reminder of all the bills that would come soon enough.
All the money that went for half ass care that never helped anyway.
Life on hold again and again.
It was not that he did not care.
If he did not care, then he'd have run away years ago.
It was that it was so ironic how he worked his ass off and a guy like Taxdiry was a boss.
Not that Bill wanted to be a boss.
That would mean that he'd have to talk to the assholes that he worked with instead of ignoring them.
A BOSS always has to teach the others or show them what to do.
ew.
Then something happened.
Taxdiry came in to the same dinner.
He went over to hit on the waitress and he tripped in front of the whole restaurant.  Then he fell on his face in front of everyone.
Some drunk old man in the corner started to laugh really loud.
Then when Tax stood up, he looked over at the old man and told him to shut up.
But the old man got up to leave.  He took his newspaper and rolled it up in his hands.
When the old man walked by TAX, he slapped him upside the head with it.
It was not that he was immature but it was nice to see for some reason.  Probably because Tax was a world classless jerk who treated everyone like crap.  Nothing ever happened about it either.  Then with his own cocky attitude he tripped on himself.  And he did it in front of a whole room full of people.
And the best part is that no one apologized to him.  He deserved it.  No one cared. Thank God they let him fall over.

The dinner had one of those dumb slot machines in the corner.
When Bill got up to leave he thought what the hey.
So he put a dollar in that dumb machine.
It jack potted.
Out of no where, that'd pay off his bills and let him move somewhere else.

                                                       The   End

Happy Valentine's Day

It is only 9 : 45 PM where I am.  I guess the time on this blogger is not set to my actual time.  Anyway every year I put up a Holiday themed blog or diary entry.  I am not really into love or romance stuff but I love vintage cards and I love Angels.  So if there is a holiday that gives me an excuse to use stationary or to eat chocolate, then I guess I'm happy.
I googled some vintage pictures.

So in honor of the holiday that was set in honor of lovers who were kept apart.  

Happy  Valentine's  Day to you.

  "  You were once wild here, do not let them tame you.  " - Isadora Duncan

   "  If certain when this life was out, that yours and mine should be, I'd toss it yonder like a rind and I'd taste eternity.  "  - Emily  Dickinson

The Gift of Honesty Poem by Jessica Singleton

                                             The Gift Of Honesty 
                                                          By;
                                              Jessica   Singleton
                                                     ( Poem  )

Pure as it looks.
Forgotten and broken so easily.
Children's eyes project slideshows of
everything that cannot be reckoned or fixed.
The damage such a word can cause.
White noise
Promise 
Sweet release kept inside
Bandaid covered time
Take it back
But once it sounds the bells
nothing can erase the cry.
And when my hands slid down that moon face,
it runs out and it cannot find a life here again.
If anything I ever did made you cry like that.
Then I'm sorry that I lied.
Cause I love you that much
that I'd hide whatever it'd take to keep you here with me.
Safe in my arms.
I will not turn your eyes away again.
Because I love you enough to not break you a second time.