Friday, March 31, 2017

Short story; The Gift of Depravity by Jessica Singleton

The Gift of Depravity 
BY;
Jessica Singleton
A Fictional Story



" You've lied,
You've robbed the poor,
You've slaughtered the innocent,
You've paid your dues.
Now the devil will see
 you through. " - Unknown

" Have you seen these two boys. " - Something Wicked this way comes

" Is it true what they say ? After the war in heaven, this is the spot where Satan fell. " - The Exorcist , The beginning. 

" You just opened Pandora's Box. " - Law and Order

                             One 

   He was reading the paper at his breakfast table.  He sat in his kitchen with his robe on.  The maid was bringing him his morning coffee. He normally paid her no attention.  He was a cold hearted son of a bitch.  It gave him hair for his balls.  That is the only way to look at it when you can rack 20K a week in fees.  He was a very expensive attorney and he knew he was worth every inch of it.  Sam was paid to clean and make coffee.  She was not hired to make small talk.  When he woke up before seven, he was not in the mood for small talk. 
Sam gave him a cup of pitch black coffee.  The steam off the cup made his finger tips feel warm.  It was cold in the house due to winter.
After getting ready he went straight to his office.  His office over looked the city of Tallingtoe.  It was a large city that housed  1. 8 million people. The office was decorated with priceless Italian art and a Elisabeth Writing desk. 
Monday's oppointments were vague to him anymore. He did not bother keeping up. Not like he used to.  Now he paid people to do that.
His first client was a new one.  There were very few people in the world who were much different then the next.  He had met them all.  With the fees that he charged , most were judges or celebrities who needed a divorce lawyer.    When Nine o'clock came, his door opened and in walked his assistant Shelly and a man that made his mouth almost drop open.  He was a skinny gentleman in jeans.  His clothes were clean but he was not in a suit and tie.  This was an older man.  Probably his own age. 
Then he looked down at the man's shoes.  He had on steel toed boots.  

" Hello Mr. Chance.  I am John Daily.  I will need to hear your case before I agree to take it.  This is just a consultation. You've paid for that much. Now tell me how I might be able to help you. "

The man took his hat off and he lowered his head.  He was going bald. That is when he started to cry.  It took him no time at all to bottle that emotion up.  He seemed like he was embarrassed about the fact that he'd unleash his feelings in this setting.

" I am sorry.  I know that I do not look like much.  I do not get out much. I do not need much.  I live a simple life.  I do not have much.  I am not an educated man.  You must be.  I have money if that is what you're worried about.  I take a bath too.  I found you in the phone book.  I got no real use for money.  I gained a lot of money when my parents died.  I work all the time. I have money and I'm getting older.  I have no where to put that money.  But now I need a lawyer.  It started when my daughter died.  See my whole family is dead.  I cannot live in that dumb old house. It is to hard.  Not with all that crap.  It was willed to me.  But how can I look at it when it reminds me of hell. You have no idea.  None what so ever.  But those things are not right.  Not at all. "

" What things are not right? "

" Those antiques. "

" I do not understand.  Why did you need a lawyer? "

" I have things but they were willed to me.  Usually they go in a public place.  A place down town where people look at them. But my family owned them.  Years later they wanted their things in their own home.  My mother got old and she did not want to get out.  The public places had rights.  Not enough but they had paperwork.  Now I have to get a lawyer to sell it off.  Auction companies do that.  But they need a lawyer to do stuff.  I got the paperwork.  It is here folded up in my pocket.  You look for yourself.  Take it. "

" Paperwork.  Okay let me see it. "

The older man got in his back pocket and he took out a wad of paperwork.  He unfolded it and put it on the Elisabeth desk.  

John took the paperwork in hand. He put on his reading glasses and he looked over it for a few minutes.  It was easy to understand what this guy needed a lawyer for.  The public place he talked about only had a lease to use the antiques for display for so long.  They did not actually own anything.  They still had 1 year in contract.  But since Mr. Chance was the son of a wealthy man who owned that museum.  All that public place wanted from the looks of that wrinkled up paperwork, was to give an old man a hard time.  They probably thought that he'd just give them the stuff back.  The fact that Mr. Chance did not understand the few words in this contract proved how uneducated he really was.  
John did not have a problem with the poor or the middle class man but one thing he hated more then anything was an asshole company picking on an old man.  This would make his day to take this on.
Besides, from the sounds of this paperwork, the auction would be something to attend. 
Easy sale easy buy.

" Mr. Chance, you just got yourself a lawyer.  I will not charge you again.  You paid for this consultation.  This probably will not go to court.  I will just have to file a few papers on my end and have a few things sent out.  I have my own money.  There is no problem.  You are not at fault here.  They are a sorry place to send you a letter like this.  Especially since you just lost your family.  They should have shown some more respect due to the fact that they worked with your father like that. "

Mr. Chance smiled.  He looked like he had hope in his eyes. Hope he did not have when he walked into the room.

They shook hands and Mr. Chance left his office.



                                           TWO


John Daily was the father of two children that he loved more then anything but they did not live near him.  He never did much to get in touch, other then send a card on their birthday.  

Within two weeks of his meeting with Mr. Chance, the auction was ready to take place.  

The night before, John was allowed to look at all the oddities or antiques.  Most of it was rare paintings that were impressive.  But the nicest pieces were made from solid gold.  There were rare gold boxes that shown on their own without light bulbs connected to them.  They had carvings etched into them.  It was a strange language he could not make out.  But the three boxes were neat on their own. 

He instantly wanted them.
It was a silent auction and he won them by the next night.  At first the three golden boxes sat in his office.
Then out of curiosity, he called a friend of his.  The man worked at the college.  

Chris was a tall man with graying hair.  He had an iq of 223.  He could speak every language on the earth.  Chris took one look at the boxes and then it did not take him two minutes to respond.

" That is a rare form of Greek that has not existed on earth, since 12 BC.  That is odd.  I have seen a lot of trinkets but your boxes take the cake.  Where did you find them ? "

" Auction.  Tip off from a client that I took on. "

" What did you pay?  If you do not mind me asking. "

" Actually I was going to bring that up.  I am aware that gold can be worth a lot but I paid 3 million for each one. "

" You did well then.  They are worth more because of how old they are.  So you got a deal. "

" What do they say? "

" They say , actually it is funny you should ask.  It is a warning to anyone who opens them.  Just an omen.  They say ,

The mind without a key to the gate only gets lost in other people's lives.  The key to the mind is only set to open what punishes those who carry other people's minds. "

" You made that up. "

" No it really says that. "

" So if I owned it, why would I not want to open it? "

" In those days, it was like greeting cards for them to place curses on anything.  They were very superstitious.  This looks like it has a reference to Greek myths.  Um it says Pandora on the bottom of it. "

" Pandora..."

" Do you know the myth? "

" I know not enough. Humor me."

" Pandora was the daughter of a god.  But all her father gave her in life was a box filled with all the sickness or pain known to mortal men. "

" That is some gift.  Why?"

" Gate keeper.... I do not know. "

" Okay so how to open them? There is no key. "

" This says to trace it with your finger. "

" Why don't you rub on it? Maybe a genie will pop out and grant us a wish. "

" No it says you have to. They are now yours. "

John rolled his eyes and he walked over to the box.

The box looked innocent enough.  So he traced his fingers along the lettering on it.

The box opened on it's own.  The inside was filled with the most beautiful diamonds that he'd ever seen in his life.

They were to clear to be diamonds.  They must have been worth billions of dollars.

So within 3 days of John's boxes being opened, he took the diamonds to a jeweler and he had them looked at.
The jeweler told him that the diamonds were priceless.  They were unlike anything he'd ever seen.  They were perfect and large.  Making them too heavy for anyone of those diamonds to be on it's own in a piece of jewelry.  It would weigh down any woman or man to the point of irritation.
But they could be cut and used in portion.

John told him how he came upon the box.  They talked for a few hours.

John left his store and he went home.
He poured himself a glass of aged whiskey and he sat in front of his fire place.

He heard a noise.  The sound was coming from a closet in his hallway.  So John got up with his glass and he went to the hall closet.  He opened the closet to find a pair of women's shoes.  They were unlike anything that he'd seen in his life. 

These shoes were made of emerald's and what looked like Mexican Ambers. 

They were lovely but they had no place in his hats and coats.  He ex wife left him years ago and she had no taste like this.

The shoes were solid amber in heel form but the stem of he heel looked like the brownish green amber melted into an emerald.  They looked like a piece of Picasso art.

John did not know but he did not feel like giving anything else his attention tonight.
He'd had a long day.
It was not a tiger and he wanted to finish his drink in silence.

What would be next?
A rabbit with a top hat or ruby slippers?

That night John fell asleep on his couch in front of his fire place.

That night he woke up with his shirt undone.  He was sweating.  The fire was loud and it danced out of the fireplace until it made the body of a goddess.  A beautiful woman stood in front of him.  She had olive colored skin and long midnight black hair.  The tips of her nails looked golden and her eyes looked like the emeralds that were used for those shoes.

She crawled up on his lap like a cat and she started to whisper into his ear.

" You have opened my box.  You now will have as many moments as you've taken from others. "

" What are you talking about? I am a lawyer.  A man who owned those sold them and I bought them fair and square. "

Pandora's eyes lit up as red as the fire flames that still licked her body like a dress that was made from the setting sun.

" You mock me?"

" No I have the sales recite in my pocket still. "

John pulled it out.
Pandora looked it over.
Then she took back what she said.

She got off of him.
" That box has been in my family for years. You see it was disturbed.  I am summoned when there is trouble.  I think my grandson is in trouble. "

" If your grandson is an old man named Chance then yeah but I fixed it.  Some business wanted to own those boxes.  He got his own rights back and he got paid.  So he was able to sale off property that he did not want.  He blamed those boxes for his mother's death. "

"No his mother stole those from his father.  She killed him.  So when she opened them, they were her own sentence.  They were meant as a protection to my bloodline.  My grandson needs those."

" He does not want them. He loved his mother."

" Then do me a favor. "

" What is that?"

" I cannot leave this place. Bring him to me so I can talk to him."

John called Chance and he came over.

Once they talked John agreed to sale them back to Chance for a price that Pandora could pay. 
Not sex.
Not a life.
Money from heaven is priceless.
Pandora gave John his own box.
It was made of Spanish Silver and black rubies. 

The inside of the box had a different kind of gift.
Looking into the box, you'd think there were tiny pebbles and beans.
Brown beans.
Then with a closer look, John saw that the beans were tiny cases for the rarest rubies in the world.
Their worth was ten times what he'd paid for the boxes that he just gave up.
The pebbles were not pebbles from Spain.  
They were chances in life.

Pandora told John that he did a lot of good for a poor old man and that he was to be given the gift of a fair chance.

The pebbles were countless.
So any time John needed a wish, he had it right at his finger tips.

John waited till they left, then he made a wish to see if it really worked.
He wished for a chance at health and age.
He was older now and not as energetic as he once was. 
So Pandora made him healthy like he was 16 again but he kept his age and memory.
She also got rid of the age lines on his face and his grey hair.
He had his mind and body at it's best.

The boxes on the other hand;;;;

Mr. Chance took the boxes home and gave them to the Public place only for one night.

All those bad people who had done that to him made the mistake of not only opening the boxes, but they stole diamonds out of them.

So the diamonds were their last chance.

Magically within days when they were out and about.  Those diamonds made them targets for greedy people who took advantage of them.

Then the cops took them to jail for stealing in the first place.
Then Mr. Chance was given his property back.

The End

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Random entry about .... my own life

 I do not use my blog for much more then writing.  Odd how that works huh.  Most people at least have something about general life .  

What is going on with me ? 

I got jipped so everyone could use other people for what they are not worth.

No....

I am the same person that I always was. I have not read as much since moving in here.   I have some great book material to use for entertainment.

I have ink and makeup in my nails.  I bet no one would shake my hands.  I look like I have been digging in my butt.  Not that I would have that problem often with my butt.
I would not mind doing something sometimes.   I know I do not do much and that I stay in here a lot But as odd as this might sound, 

I used to read a book about once a week.  My life took a back burner, when I MOVED in here.   I am very unhappy.  I am extremely wronged.

I almost want to read all the books that I have bought myself in one setting.  I want to catch up on them. I know I cannot read that much in one hour.  I timed myself.  It takes me 1 minute and 32 seconds to read a page out of a book.
Does that sound like those dipsh'ts on tv who try and sound artsy?
Like they give a crap about the homeless.  They just want a tax ride off at the end of the year.
Camerawhore.com

This sounds snoty .  Why is it that everything out of my mouth sounds snoty like some dumb blond actress with a purse complex?

The man behind the curtain by Jessica Singleton

                                             A few nights ago I came up with an idea of a new story. It is a murder mystery  and cop story.  I guess this is it in written form.  I'm not a published writer. So please bare with me.

                                                  


                                                             The  Man  Behind  The  Curtain

                                                                                  By  ;

                                                                     Jessica   Singleton



    " When the hit man comes , he knows that he has been cheated.  " - Gold Earring 
                                              ( Twilight  Zone lyrics )


    "  Ladies and Gentlemen , I am now locked up in a handcuff that has taken a British mechanic five years to make.  I do not know if I'm going to get out of it or not.  But I can assure you , that I am going to do my best .  "  -  Harry Houdini  



                           Johnny drove a beat up late sixties model of a Chevy .  It still had the 8 track piece stuck in it.  He was a police officer for the Balmoor PD.  Balmoor was a large city that housed millions of people.   He lived in a flat that over looked the city.  He had paid it off five years  before when he'd been lucky enough to jack pot at the casino.  It was only by chance.  Usually in life things like that do not happen.

                        The building that Johnny lived in was owned by a crab of a man named Milton.  Milton had a mouth for a daughter named Camelowa.  She was pretty and skinny but on the inside she was worthless.  Talking to her would give anyone a headache.  

                Any chance Camelowa got , she would walk right up to him and put herself in John's way.  If he did not look at her, then within two days of that chance meeting, he'd get a note on his door from the landlord.  It was always something.

        It was better to smile and nod and then just walk fast.  Say something about getting home because of something that was in the ice box.

                 John had a best friend that he'd been in the army with.  His name was Charles.  Chucky was now an under cover private investigator.  


                      John's one bedroom flat looked about like anything that you'd expect.  Large vintage print above the couch of a Houdini advertisement.  Bookshelf over stuffed with Sherlock Holmes novels and Albert Camus.  Loads of murder mysteries King, Patterson , Grisim  and Tom Clancy and William Peter Blatty.  The bedroom had a picture of his mother on his dresser.  A Beatles White Album poster above the bed and a mickey mouse watch on the night stand.



                                                            2



          Monday rhymes with nothing but it taste like morning breath on a drunk old lady.   When John got into his office, he had a case file that he hardly had time to pick up before he was shoved into a meeting room.  His captain was informing everyone in that room that they were now the new Oz task force.  Everyone laughed when they heard the word OZ.

      "  People this is serious.  This guy is called oz by the media because he is a wizard of a criminal.  He has  not been caught and he seems to think that he is the  ruler of some emerald kingdom.  He leaves calling cards at each place he has been.  "

    Some smart ass yelled out, " What is his calling card a scar crow? "

   "  No he leaves emeralds , like payment in full.  He also leaves a letter.  But the odd thing the letters are addressed to his victims.  The letters sound like a notice of job termination.  As though he thinks that he is their boss.    And all we have to go on, is that all the victims were scientist that once worked for Johnson Bean and sons.  They all worked on the same team of researchers back in the early 1970's.  The company has not had ties with these employees since then.  They hire and then move on.  These people were specialist who specialized in fetal drugs for pregnant women back in the 1970's.  "

    By the time everyone was given each case and details of what was to be seen from autopsy reports, it was lunch time.  The meeting was over.  Johnny did not have much of a stomach after seeing the crime scene photos.  Although a lot of it was the big breakfast that he ate that morning.

            John used his lunch break to go over things in the oz case.  He loved puzzles and he was good at them.  His boss believed that the Johnson Bean and sons company had a skeleton in their closets that would tell who had anything to do with OZ.  But it was too easy.  This killer went out of his way to laugh in the cop's faces to prove that he could get away with it.  He even hand wrote a letter that did not leave finger prints.  Why kill a group of people who were linked if you were too.  No this was something else.  The company history was clean.  They had nothing that could be used against them.  This was someone else who would have had some link to all of these scientist who would have a reason to see them die.  The odd thing about the killings was not the expensive jewels left but the letters.  It was as though he needed them to know why they were being let go.  It was more then that.  He knew other's would see this.  He wanted to publicly humiliate these people.  Like standing up in a boardroom and yelling out; 

         "   SO AND SO IS NOW FIRED BECAUSE THEY ARE A LOSER. "

            What does that say?  These people owed him something or he thought that they owed him some recognition or maybe an apology.  He must think that they wronged him or messed up his life.  That is when he saw that they all worked on a drug that was used for fetal stages in women.  Maybe this guy was born with a birth defect.    Everyone was dead.  So there was no way to contact the science team now.  The company had only one living relative alive.  She was a stock holder in the company.  Her name was Jessica.  She had no part in anything.  She had an air tight life style that kept her from being accused of anything.  

      John went to the company to interview people in the human resource department about company files.  Anyone who would have worked there in the 1970's.  There had to be someone who would have known anything.  The woman that he talked to was fast at printing out a list of ex employees.  With everything placed on computers these days, it made his job fast and easy.  There were 200 people on that list.  But only 12 scientist who died and only 6 people who worked directly around them in one way or another.

         John did attempt to interview Jessica.  He had to sit in her home to talk to her. When he went to her house Jessica answered her own door.

    John smiled at her and he said , "  I am sorry to bother you at your home but I was wondering if you could talk to me about anything you might have heard over the years about your father's company.  Rumors even.  I'm drawing at straws here. "

    Jessica smiled and she let John into her home.  


                    "  I do not mind at all.  This is a tragedy.  No one in life should be murdered.  I do not find it funny that this sick man has used the excuse of my family's company or their name to mark his crimes.  I will try but I do not know much.  I'm too young to know much.  Besides I'm just a stock holder.  I get a royalty but I do not work there. "

     John looked around at the surroundings.  It seemed normal enough.  There was a cat sitting in a chair in the living room.  She had paintings on the walls and designer furniture with a beautiful view of a bird garden in her backyard.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

     Jessica began to speak before he ask, 

                       "  From what I heard about that pill experiment from the 1970's.... There was a man who was well known in the states back in the sixties.  His name was Benson.  Tall smart guy from Europe.  He was a brilliant man who wanted to test plants in the rain forest.  He believed that they had to have a purpose for something in life.  But plants can be poisonous.  Everyone knows that.  Drugs that go on the market have to be tested for years before they are ready for human consumption.  Anyway he was not under contract anywhere.  He wanted donations from my father's company.  My father was not a loan company.  He did not believe in funding this guys vacation to the tropics.  Only to hope that he'd come back with a box full of tree leaves.  So my father told him no.  Then the man came back a few years later.  He had all this research that he said would cure everything from mental illness to morning sickness in women.  All of which was based on a plant out of the rain forest.  My father looked the paperwork over.  He handed it to his science team back then.  They would tell him if it was real or not.  They said it was scribbles from a man looking for money to waste their time.  Well, that man stormed out with his box of work.  My father had nothing to do with it.  His science team was under contract for five years.  A test run if you will.  They lied to my father.  They also used that man's ideas.  They made a pill for the market that would cure morning sickness.  It sold out like hot cakes.  But it did have side effects.  The pill was pulled from the market.  When that scientist found out that my father's team did that, he was mad.  The five years was up.  My father was embarrassed about the team he'd hired doing all that damage.  He did not renew their contracts.  The researchers could do nothing in the form of a lawsuit.  They were lucky that no one sued them. So we had no problem out of them. "

         "  What happened to the scientist with the grudge?  Or do you know ?"

         "  Oh he went back to Europe.  He started his own company.  They did very well.  He did not have a patent so he had no claim.  Really he was just glad that he was not the one with pregnant women pressing charges over a bad idea.  It was Karma.  "

    "  I see.  He sounds like he'd have a reason to hate those scientist though ."

    "  I do not know. "


      "  Well, Jessica thank you for your time.  I am going to leave now.  But thank you. If you can think of anything, here is my card.  You can call me. "

     "  Thank you.  Have a safe trip back into the city. "


             John drove with The Blue Oyster Cult playing on the speakers.  Godzilla was the song of choice.  When John got back into his office it was 4;34 PM.  It was almost a full day.  He called his friend who was the PI.  They met for a drink and to talk.


"  Well, look at you.  So why do you need my help?  This does not sound like it would be to hard for you. "

   " It is something else.  It really does not make sense. "

 John told his friend about the case.  

"  Maybe it is like when you're looking for something, you will never find it.  But if you were looking for something else, then you'd find the one thing you really want to find.  Hey you remember when we were kids ?  You were crazy about running backwards when you'd fly that kite.  You almost went right out into the road that one summer.  Maybe if you'd run backwards.   Or if you went under cover and looked for a hired hit man.  This guy is not a scientist.  He knows the law.  Or he's a cop.  I think he is hired.  You look like a cop. No one is going to talk to you.  Dress the part.  Find people and interview them on a different level.  You know. "

    "  That is a good idea.  Thanks. "



                                               3


   John stopped at one of those second hand thrift shops.  He got some street clothes.  He went home and he dressed the part.  Then he stayed up 26 hours.  So he'd look worn out.  He did not eat.  He only drank coffee.  He wanted to look jittery like he was on something.  He went out in the rain to play.  He ask questions.  He met a lot of bad people that his mother would not want her son to talk to.  

    John met a tall women who said that for the right price he could meet her boss.  John had the right price.  He was drove to a house out in the upstate area.  The house looked normal from the outside.  John went into the house.  The paintings on this wall were priceless pieces of history.  That is when he was a believer.  Whoever owned this house had millions of dollars.

  A tiny old man in a wheelchair came out of the back. 

" Can I help you son ? "

John looked like he just lost the little hope that he did have.

" Well are you a hired hit man ? "

" Yes . " 

" Good .  What do you charge ? "

" Depends on how much you want done and how risky it is for me and my team. "

" Team.... That is an interesting term for hit men. "

" That is what I call them. "

" Fair enough.  X girlfriend and her father.  Just a gun shot to the head.  NO traces back to me or you.  Like a hit and run at the wrong time.  Inner city problems. "

"  Cost you ten. "

" Ten thousand dollars?"

"  Nope Ten million . "

" Okay fine but I need a week to get the cash. "

" Fine by me. Come back when you can pay. Until then loses this address if you do not want it traced back. "

" No problem. "


The car drove John to the inner city where it found him and it dumped him off literally.

John gave the information to his friend.  The friend scoped out the area.  When everyone was gone from the house.  He went in to look around.

He called John to tell him about it.

"  That is not an old man you talked to.  Also it was not a woman either.  There was only one person.  That guy wears mask.  Oh and Johnny boy, he keeps eyeballs.  They are in a pickle jar in the ice box.  His name matches the Benson guy.  He is his son.  His money comes from dear old dad.  And Johnny ... one more thing....  He has your business card in his bedroom.  Also there is more.  His mother and father were divorced after his father moved back to Europe. The mother lost him at age ten to state custody. Three months in group homes and he was in Europe living with Daddy the 1st.  But when he turned 18 years old he took off.  I think I know why he likes emeralds too.  In all these old pictures of his mommy dearest, she is wearing nothing but big emeralds.  The DHS paperwork shows that she was abusing the boy.  He looks just like his father. That is why he hated all those scientist so much. "

"  How did he get my business card ? "

" I was going to ask you. "

"  What can be done now?"

" Doubt it.  I can follow him.  Think he got it from Jessica?"

" I dono maybe. "

                                                 4

Jessica and Benson had no ties.  She was not wanted for much.  Benson left town.  He knew the cops were on to him.  When John's friend looked into him, the Son of Benson owned a family home in upstate Virginia.  

With the right amount of paperwork, they got a search deed and caught him.  No innocent person had to go to jail for the crimes of Benson the 2nt.



                                                THE   END















Wednesday, March 29, 2017

A new story for now or just writing

I have not logged in here in a while.   I guess I have not wrote much at all.  The other day I came up with an idea to use Pandora's Box from Greek Myths in a story about a Lawyer who opened  3 different boxes only to unleash 3 different types of pain and suffering into his life and the people's lives around them.

I do not really want to relieve that for now. Maybe later.  I am not in a spirit for that now.

This below is just ideas.  Nothing more then more of my scribbles and scratches.


Tip the ledge.
Broken and cracked up.
Shinning through the curtain slits.
Windows of the soul.
Broken down and stitched up with borrowed time.
Last moment of fear.
Held together by rage.
Taste your own death.


Darkened memory wants to pay you a visit.
Silly child wants to laugh at your pain.
Bad old day.
Came up to late with greeting cards.
Bad excuse 
Bad taste in my mouth
Bad little boy with his hands in his pockets



                                                                   White Crayon

                                                                             By ;

                                                                 Jessica  Singleton

                                                              A fictional short story

                                             " I'm living in a silent film. " - David Bowie , 
                                                                  (  Quick  Sand  )

                                              "  What I lost was an ocean. " - David Gilmour
                                                                  (  A  boat  Lies waiting )



                                Sometimes I spend my time looking at the wall for no reason.  I just sit there and stare at the wall in my room.  I do not have anywhere to go.   It is not that I cannot get up and just walk out.  It is that I do not think that anyone just walks out on their own life.

                             A  few days ago I moved into a new home.  I can say that now I have a home.  I could never have said that before.  I was born into the world and I lived in this world but I have never had a home to go home to.  When I was a child , it always felt like I was on a clock.  The way it feels when something is about happen that you dread.  Like you are in line for some dreadful moment.  A moment that slides by to another day.  When I was an adult, my chance was always five minutes to late or missed me altogether.

                      I got a new job.  I finally did my time in the books and I got my first check.  I put it down on a new home.  I did not do anything the first night there.  It was nice to not be on someone else's clock.

                 I lit a candle.  I put in a CD.  Not loud enough to where the neighbors would want to meet me. Just so I could hear it.  I sat in a chair that I own and I just stared at the wall.  I drew a hot bath and I drank tea until I went to bed.

                     Have you ever just not wanted to know something ?   No one wants their mind wiped like a table top.  To just not deal with something for a moment.  It is not much to ask.  Only a monster would ask you to feel pain for them.  What you should ask them is do they want to feed off of your pain.   No one can really understand you when you're inside of yourself.  Can they?  I think anyone would be able to answer that question when it is their turn in line.

                  Once I had a few days to enjoy the solitude, I finally got back to life.  How could anyone say such things ?   As though you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing.  Just because you will not hurry up and die.

                    Someone wanted to know why I had not gone through with the surgery.  I had not found a doctor that was suitable.  You have to find a doctor for the right health problem.  Those are hard to come by.  I did find one.  He fixed me and I had no more problems.  I did not die.  I did not die within weeks of it, due to complications.  I did not come out worse then before I went in.

                     I got back to life.  My own life.  I went to work when I had to.  I went home when I had to.  I went out and I made friends.  I even dated.  God forbid right?


                It is funny how when you're a child, you have a color in the box for everything.  Then you have the one crayon that does not show up anywhere unless the paper is black.  Then it is the only color that shows up.

              Life is like that.  Paint sets that stain the pallet but never show the secrets that our pain keeps.  And when it does, then nothing can go with it.  You truly are alone.

                              So to speak in darkness....

                                                           The   End




                           


Saturday, March 18, 2017

More Stedts Begravningsbyra

Note that you must multiply with 0,11 when you calculate, not divide.

174 762,33 * 0,11 = 19 223, 8563  = aprox. 19 224 USD.


Best regards

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
546 31  Karlsborg
info@stedts.se

Från: singleton jessica [mailto:withoutreason79@yahoo.com] 
Skickat: den 17 mars 2017 02:44
Till: Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se>
Ämne: Re: The right picture

I looked up what The sek was compared to us d. SEK is 11 cents each American dollar. That was my problem. I did not say anything about the SEK that you wrote down. 
So when I put 174 762 33 SEK and I divide it with a calculator by .11 I got 158,874,845 ! 
When you turn that into a dollar amount it comes to
$1,588,748.45.
To be honest I was having a lot of talks with family over the years prior to my fathers passing. My fathers money came from a lawsuit he had with a doctor. 
That doctor is the reason he was dying. 
My father had a lot of money. 
It is not about money for me. 
But the money would help. 
The amount that was put into my checking account was 21 thousand dollars in usd. 
If the SEK is 11 cents then how would they get 21 out of a number that started out 158


Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
On Friday, February 10, 2017, 9:49 AM, Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se> wrote:
Dear Jessica.

Please find the enclosed document where the correct explanation is written.



Med vänlig hälsning

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
S-546 31  Karlsborg
SWEDEN EUROPE



Friday, March 17, 2017

Shadowed act

Sheltered from the light.
Pressed against the night.
Breathless embrace.
Hands that crawl up the throat.
Tickle my senses to delight.
Blinded by the shock.  
Held so dear just to break so easy 
Promise Me nothing you mean to keep
Fallen so hard 
Now nothing can cover me







"How many times? Now I can't look you in the eyes" - Placebo

" Sometimes, I question everything. I'm the first to admit that if you catch in minute like this, I can be tiring even embarrassing . " - Depeche Mode

" You were my fire. And I burned till there was nothing left of me. Why give me hope, just to be death of me. Cause I see you but I can't feel you. Anymore... You hesitate. " - Stone Sour

" I told you so, Now you have to go. I found somebody new, and You'll never break my heart in two again. " - Randy Travis



I have not wrote in a while.
I just keep off of this thing.
Mostly because the connection has changed here so much.
My skin is dry.  I should be sleeping.  I cannot sleep. Just one of those things.  I found a house.  It sold to someone else.
I have no one to talk to about what goes on in my life.
That weirdo company wrote me again.
They acted like my letters were a problem.
I have done nothing wrong.
So I started to post them.
That way others can see what I see.  I am going to report them.  I want to look into my case. I do not trust it.  I actually want to do something about it.
Nothing to say. I am always looking at these vintage dvds.  I dono why. I'm not shopping right now.  Got no mula.
That is not the reason for stedts.
I found a google web site that tells you what the Swedish amount is compared to the American amount.
I was supposed to get almost 2 million dollars.
There is a glitch somewhere.
So no I'm not crazy for asking a question.
If asking questions made you crazy, then scientist would be locked up and condemned to death.
There would be no such thing as research .
I am under contract with those jerks.
Look at their on and off again emails.
You can tell that something is very wrong just by the constant story change.
It is really not about money for me.
It is personal.
But money helps and I think I got screwed.
I would like to know where all his money went.
Cause I know he was not in debt.
I want to talk about something besides money.

This is the part where I talk crazy.
What sounds good right now?
The magical answer to that is to feel at ease.
To live in a clean home without bugs or stink.
To have a kitchen that does not need a bucket.

Oh well lets talk real crazy.
That sounded dumb like one of my x's.

To drive again.
To see and to drive late at night.
To go to a diner and order food that my body would not reject.
To sit with someone that I care about and enjoy their company.
Like my sister or my best friend.
I miss them at times.
But we grew apart and now I hate listening to them talk about stupid crap.

To drive barefoot and go to qt at 3 AM.
To get a drink and something sweet.
Then to listen to something that dose not make my ears bleed.
And drive home with empty roads.
To get into bed and read a few chapters out of a book, so that I have time to finish my drink.
To sleep in and not have to cook anyone anything.

Does that sound selfish?
To anyone else it does.

I never understood the word hate before.
It just did not sound normal.

Things change so fast.
I miss so many people.
They are not men before you wonder.

I used to do things.
In the last year of my life, I have done nothing at all but clean and lose sleep.
I have been treated so bad that it hurts.
My health has taken a back page due to bad medical care and people who should be condemned.

Nothing can make up for anything.
If there was a play list for today;
1. Sometimes
2. I told you so
3. Black Celebration
4. Zero
5. Glad that you're gone
6. Shock the Monkey
7. Hesitate 
Only because of the lyrics

I just realized that I did not post an Easter Blog.
I do those just so I can find vintage cards.
I love decorating these things.
I should go find a bunny for this one.
Why not?

Stedts


Dear Jessica,

We know that you have received the right amount of dollar.

All documents in this case are submitted to Annika.

We do not have more to say in this case, which means that we will not answer any mail from your from this date.

Best regards

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
546 31  Karlsborg
info@stedts.se

Från: singleton jessica [mailto:withoutreason79@yahoo.com] 
Skickat: den 17 mars 2017 04:37
Till: Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se>
Ämne: I used that website to check

I guess it was more. I used that website here is a picture. And I did not get the right amount. 

Stedts again




Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

On Friday, March 17, 2017, 2:50 AM, Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se> wrote:
Note that you must multiply with 0,11 when you calculate, not divide.

174 762,33 * 0,11 = 19 223, 8563  = aprox. 19 224 USD.


Best regards

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
546 31  Karlsborg
info@stedts.se

Från: singleton jessica [mailto:withoutreason79@yahoo.com] 
Skickat: den 17 mars 2017 02:44
Till: Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se>
Ämne: Re: The right picture

I looked up what The sek was compared to us d. SEK is 11 cents each American dollar. That was my problem. I did not say anything about the SEK that you wrote down. 
So when I put 174 762 33 SEK and I divide it with a calculator by .11 I got 158,874,845 ! 
When you turn that into a dollar amount it comes to
$1,588,748.45.
To be honest I was having a lot of talks with family over the years prior to my fathers passing. My fathers money came from a lawsuit he had with a doctor. 
That doctor is the reason he was dying. 
My father had a lot of money. 
It is not about money for me. 
But the money would help. 
The amount that was put into my checking account was 21 thousand dollars in usd. 
If the SEK is 11 cents then how would they get 21 out of a number that started out 158


Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
On Friday, February 10, 2017, 9:49 AM, Stedts Begravningsbyrå <info@stedts.se> wrote:
Dear Jessica.

Please find the enclosed document where the correct explanation is written.



Med vänlig hälsning

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
S-546 31  Karlsborg
SWEDEN EUROPE



Stedts

Dear Jessica,

Thank you for your mail dated 29 december 2015.

Thank you for signing the paper we send to you.

My name Is Maria Backman and I am one of the administrators of this inventory. 
Our work Is to complete the inventory in Sweden and see to all. 

In Sweden you don’t have to participate in the inventor meeting, but we have to inform you about the meeting.
It is also our obligation to keep you informed about your rights in the case.

As of now, I can inform you, there is no money on your father´s Swedish accounts, only debts. 
Your stepmother will pay the funeral, gravestone and inventory expenses. 

When our the inventory is made, you will receive another document in English in which you are supposed to accept and return to us.

When our work is totally completed, it may take more a year, we will send you the documents by postal mail.


Best regards

Maria Backman
Stedts Begravningsbyrå AB
Juridiska avdelningen
Södra Vägen 12
SE-546 31  Karlsborg
SWEDEN EUROPE
info@stedts.se

Från: singleton jessica [mailto:withoutreason79@yahoo.com] 
Skickat: den 29 december 2015 23:15
Till: info@stedts.se
Ämne: Estate number 550911-0515

Dear  Stedts Begravningsbyra  AB,

My name is Jessica Anne Singleton.  I recently received a letter from your office.  The letter was in regards to the death of my father.  Apparently, you are handling the case.  The case is filed under a number. 
The number for my father's estate is  550911 - 0515.
There is a summons for my presence at the inventory of my father's estate.  I just received this notice today.  The meeting that you write about takes place on Jan 1, 2016.  I live in America.  I am not a well off person.  In fact I am low income here.  There is no way that I could make that meeting.  I am afraid to say that it would not have mattered if you would have given me a year notice.  I am poor and 90% of my income just barely covers the air that I breathe.  I am sorry this is very unprofessional.  I apologize.  
The letter then said that I did not have to be present.  It mentioned that I could have someone act as power of attorney.  I am not close with anyone.  Over here in America, I really do not have anyone either.  My step Mother Annika should be there, but we do not know each other well enough for that.
I did sign the papers you gave me.  I will mail them off within the next two days.
If my father left me anything- I would hope that it could be mailed to me in the postal mail.  I am not sure what happens next.
I will ask my step mother if she will mail me if anything is due to me.
I only wrote this letter because I do not have anyone who can act as