In honor of the rock that was moved

I walk in the dark on evenings that invite.
I spend a lot of time remembering the faces
Of the people that I lost.
I only want to see them happy.
Because I can't know yet.
I can't stand the last look that I can only
imagine that was on their face.
I make up the most amazing gifts that I am sure
They would love.
The other door-
Passage really-
The only other thought
that I do not pay attention to-
I never stop and think about why
it would take a gift rather then me to make them happy.
I'm not excepting what this did to my family.
I still don't want to know that they did not love me.
I'm so used to feeling rejected by my own-
That I only sigh and move on.
I have found comfort in blaming the
people who did this rather than fact.


Stone hand
It takes a lot of water a lot of time
to make an impact on the earth.
It takes very few tears from one
person to break everything .
My bones don't like me some days.
My mind is unforgiving and relentless
I curl up and withdraw at the slightest pain.
I can't imagine the strength and power it would
Take one man to possess
 once he had been crucified
Just to move a stone.
I think the only thing more unbelievable-
Is the fact that he could forgive the people
who crucified him and mocked him.
It's hard to believe that anyone would
Have a harder time believing he existed.


Egg
I used to chase rabbits like a child in a fairytale.
One day out of every year-
My mother would put candy inside of plastic eggs
She told me that they were left by a bunny.
I would look and find them.
I didn't care if it took all day.
When I grew up and I became a woman-
I would take home the first stray cat or rabbit I could find.
But there wasn't anything inside of any of them.
They took turns playing with me until
there was nothing left inside of me.

Easter story by Jessica Singleton

Shot of Whiskey 
By
Jessica Singleton 


" Through the eye of a needle, you can see the crumb of what no one talks about. Great for tracking and better for sound. It echoes."

I don't talk much. People expect that. Sometimes they attempt reverse psychology to worm the words out of me. Funny how when that doesn't work, they run straight for manipulation and bull shit.
When I can or as I should say when I want to- I talk. 
Here lately I have not spoken much at all.
The last ten years have hurt more than the silence that jigsawed itself to decade marker.

I have always had a sarcastic tongue for a shy person. It is vulgar inside my mouth. 
Most people are scared of me. When they are not afraid of me, it's usually because they assume I'm retarded just because I don't want to communicate with them.

I get mocked a lot because I suffer from mental illnesses but I'm not crazy.
The only time my mental stability plays into a conversation is usually when I don't like someone or I reject them.

Most people in the world are just pathetic and full of shit.

I have spent most my life alone and regretful of the memories. 
None make me feel guilty because I did nothing wrong but it haunts me.

I don't meet a lot of people who understand me.

I have gotten used to that because I don't enjoy them either. 
I can't be lonely if their company makes me want to run away and hide. 
They laugh in the shadows because they don't have what it would take to speak up.
I think most of their own thoughts are just a reassurance to themselves. They need to feel like they are not so obnoxious and pathetic. 
So they laugh at their own jokes like a freak show in an asylum.

Once I met someone. It was a long time ago. He was a sad sack of shit with a lot of his own issues. I assumed that is why he picked me. He probably did not feel like he could do better. 

That did not make me feel better about myself.

But I was so happy to have him. 
I don't like people usually.
Usually I have to settle. 
But he was actually my type and 
he actually acted like he loved all of me.
He made me feel happy. 

No one has ever paid much attention to me. 

He paid attention to my wallet.
He paid attention to my eyelids.
He paid attention to what my work could do for him.
He paid attention to everyone in my life.

Fragile

I was watching a movie tonight about a man who was born strong. That must make him feel safe. The movie was great.

I have been having caffeine headaches lately.

I don't know what to say.

I'm anemic and fragile.

I'm cold and scared.

I keep hearing about it.
But I don't understand what I hear.

My reading glasses broke.
Those were the great kind.

I was given a compliment about my writing.
Apparently no one reads books these days.

I am not published.

But I'm at the guest table in the back on a writing level.

Writing is a release from a silence that you can't translate,
Especially if no one speaks it yet.


Strength is a blessing I have never known.
I am anemic and caged from within.
Like a robin who keeps a red light bulb in her rib cage.
The dim light looks more like a sign rather than a heart.


You have a color of hazel to you
that marbles my intentions.


Flickering flame
Scented wick
Dark mirror
Sounds like the flutter of wings .
I'm  Struggling to understand how anything
 could affect me so much
Like the 9 th sense .
I can feel myself react
to you without my approval.
👽

Jupiter colored ring by Jessica Singleton

Jupiter colored Ring
A fictional story

By

Jessica Singleton

I have found gravity and peace of mind.
I can remember time and sound.
Everything matters when it comes to him.
He matters to me so much that I am fragile
around the thought of him.
Because I love him.


I like to read in the evenings in the corner chair.
He plays his guitar by the window.
And he makes me feel alive.
His smile is innocent and tempting.
The way he moves around me makes
me feel invited and comfortable.
Nothing before him mattered as much.

He could never make me hate him.
I have been pushed to the edge of the world
And all the storm caused was a broken heart
and painful silence.

Lies echo like the memories
you keep away from sanity .
He was never the problem.
He was my everything.

Soft cursive letters written in silver gray
Line secrets I have kept in the back of my diary.
Unread by the only man who has
ever made me feel like this.

I am sorry that I hurt him.

Mood swinger by Jessica Singleton

Mood Swinger
Dedicated to Corey
By
Jessica Singleton

Don't ask me to give a shit
when I am upset because
 I can assure you now-
I will curse you to hell and I will mean it.
Fuck you and your lack of self worth.
You are cloaked in a robe made from
the innocent screams of the children you murdered.
You are not welcomed here again

                            1

  I walked into a garden of silence today.
It had a strange familiarity to it.
I could feel every emotion run through my body.
I assumed I would be there forever. No I was just passing through.
I did not have to wait.
When I was done and I left with all of my things ,
I took a free ride to the eastern seaboard.
I did not go to the water.
I flew to a glass building that over looked the self indulgence that scampered around their 9-5.



  A man approached me to inform me of the weather.
He insisted that umbrellas were the wave of the future.

Interestingly enough- that man grew tired of me and he made the transition to hell on his own.

I found a new reason to be happy and it didn't require conversation or human/ animals.

Shack and bake joke

I'm not one for games.
Not when it comes to how I treat people.
I don't play god.
I don't prostitute myself.
I really don't understand why
 anyone would treat me like shit
And then condescend to me
As though I did something to deserve it
And what is more
He actually acted like I did something wrong just because I did not want to be abused more.
It's like he thinks that I would want to be neglected, abused, used and cheated on.

Apparently I should be little myself more.

I don't like the way that I feel right now.

That jerk acts like he wants out of this.
And he said something that sounded like a threat mixed with a joke.

As though if I walk away then he will replace me literally.

I want my freedom back.
I don't want to feel anymore pain.

I'm not bipolar or codependent.
So if what I believe is going on
Then that is it and whatever was there is over.
Not for a day or month but forever

New stories by me

I'm not sure why I do this other then it is my hobby and my love. I write.
So you get to see a few more short story ideas from me.

There are about 3 here.

1.

Ruby
By
Jessica Singleton

Once upon a time there lived a great king. The kings name was forever.
Forever had 3 great sons.
Forever's youngest son was named Willow.
Willow loved to paint.
Willow hated being locked up all day in a dark castle.
So forever built a castle on the beach for his son Willow.

Willow spent his days painting and being comfortable.

One day when willow was in town he met a beautiful woman named ruby.
Ruby was self absorbed, pathetic and ignorant.
But she was beautiful.
Willow could not think of what to say and the only words that came out of willow's mouth were a proposal for willow to paint ruby.
Ruby agreed only because she liked the idea of someone staring at her and drawing her.

Once willow had painted ruby- she realized that willow 's perception of her was better than the reality.

Ruby was a witch and she was centuries old.
The only reason she still looked young was magic.
Ruby thought of the way she once was and then she used magic to remain the same.

So if willow kept painting her and he made her better then she would ever be on her own, then magic could use those images to better her.

Ruby captured willow and she froze time to keep him.

Willow had no other option but to glory in ruby 's obsession with herself.

After very little time willow met a different girl.
The girl was beautiful and poor.
Willow fell in love with her.
Ruby found out and she decided to spook the young girl off.
Ruby made an ass out of the girl and the girls family.
Willow felt bad so he gave her money.
The girl came to willow in the moonlight with a Pegasus.

She told willow that his kindness was appreciated and that she was a queen of fairies.
She told willow that ruby had never kept him for a century.
Ruby was nothing but a trashy old wicked witch.
Ruby only thought that she had great power.

So the Queen gave willow back his freedom.
She broke the curse and the spell forever that ruby put over willow.

Willow got his money back and his freedom.

The End



----


2.

     A bad business man


There once lived a powerful business man. His office sat on top of New York City.
In the winter he would watch the world below and think of snow globes.
Most of his life- he had walked on the back bone of the unfortunate and the weak- just to get to where he needed to be.
Most of his business deals were wrapped up in a tight wad of lies.
And 90% of those deals were borderline robbery.

One day a well dressed man came into his office. The man had a very nice brown suit on. The older man wanted to sale a lot of his own personal property for a very low price.
The deal sounded to good to be true.

But he loved a good deal at anyone else's expense.
The older man insisted that he sign in a special ink pen.
The pen was heavy and beautiful.
The ink pen was pewter and sapphire.
Something about the ink pen pricked the mans finger and it consumed his blood. You could see it in his signature.

The man quickly sold off the businesses and sucked the profits.
Within seconds of that choice the law showed up.
The man was in trouble because his business associate lied and neither of them had the right to do anything.
So all the blood money that the man had consumed over the course of his pathetic life was spent to pay back the poor who suffered asap. No delay.
The End


-----

3.  Cinder toffee

They chose a Wednesday to bitch and moan.
Pathetic sore loser can't find what it would really take.


A cover of Cinderella.

Her step mother is a witch who turns all the maids into seahorses and mermaids.
She has a brother who falls in love with Cinderella but Cinderella falls for a prince.
Cinderella has a fairy godmother who wears a waterfall for a dress.

4.

   A boat

By Jessica singleton

There once was a couple who lived in Britain.
They hardly made time for each other.
They had 3 sons.
One day when the sons were home from college- the went for a fishing boat ride with there dad.
When they did not return after dark- the wife was scared. So she prayed that God would send her family home safely.
She turned on a lamp that looked like a light house.
Her husband and sons came home unharmed.
They told her about a bad storm. They claimed if it were not for a light house then they would be lost at sea.

Fresh air

I was watching a movie that I have seen
before. It was great.
Sadly sometimes I can relate to movies.
No real problem.

Cactus 🌵 Velcro touch.
I will never forget
 but I will see
where it once was.


I think for the rest of my life-
I will never ride a roller coaster.

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm sorry and I am okay.
I want my freedom back.
I really want my life back.
I am going to drink more water.

What sounds good is comfort.

Helium

Pearl handle reaction
And I can feel it sink into my conscious
But I have to remember there is no 2options
that mirror The same ending.
And the right decision is justified redemption.
Rusty buttons
worn flags
Flying kites in a rain storm.
No flowers
No surgical mistakes
And god must be the mother of the broken tonight.
Cause my faith is the only comfort I have left.
Alone now
Sadly I can still stand up to this.
Sad because no one sees anything
But the sound of truth that draws
attention to the dirty hands.


Precious hazel stood in line
Clear as Australian crystal chandeliers
 on Easter morning
Visions mirrored in silence and touch.
The flutter of winter snow flakes
Light as a feather in a hurricane
I have become a professional ballerina
 when it comes to housing my reaction
And you are loved...,

🌈

Crystal egg responsiblity

I'm not a strong person.
I suppose I must come off like Wonder Woman.
But the truth is- I am scared shitless and
I have no choice but to keep
holding onto my own life if I
don't want to lose it forever.
It's daylight savings time.
Lost hour.
Pathetic excuse.
But no matter what anyone person did-
They don't deserve to be used as bait for my protege.
I don't want more strings keeping my highwire in place
only to be the thread of life support
that kills a man
I could only wish to know.
Life is a priceless gift.
I'm alone and broken.
I'm not as shiny as I once was.
I'm afraid of falling again.
I don't deserve to be broken again.
But what scares me more-
The idea that this self indulgent
man sewn war
Is the excuse to drag someone
like you into a place that
you really don't deserve to be.
You have become my responsibility.
I don't think I could pass you by on the street.
Anyone would love to talk with you.
I just don't trust the circumstances surrounding me.
You should be careful.
You matter to me.
I have no idea what you think you will find here.
I'm not much.
No more than anyone else.
I'm sorry if I have gotten you wrong again.
I'm sharp around people these days.

He does not have a good reason to understand.
He will see this and think of you as he forms my words into an attack.
I would be honored to call him my friend but I don't trust him.
I will go back to respecting him and finding him desirable.

Everyone knows how I feel

The window must be reluctant to open
Because it makes a sound that mimics
Involuntary understanding and the moan
Of time
AS though it has been awoken from sleep
My intentions are not involuntary
My heart is reluctant due to all the missing pieces
It lost  a lot being cracked and broken


Smile
That face is the only thing that reminds me
That I am still human
This has caused a lot of damage
And I am a wall
I have grown accustomed to being treated like an animal
So much so that I forgot what it felt like to feel anything
Other then pain and regret
He is the only good left in me
Like a lost child
That I never had the chance to remember

David W
Life is breath and silence
Noise and motion
You make senses like fire and passion
You ignite fantasies and dreams
You have become the other sense
You have eyes like burnt hazel pewter
And you complete me
👽❤️

Off set intentions

I walked into town.
Ssi pays early when the 3rd falls
on a weekend or a holiday.
So I was there early.
And I did not get paid when I should have.
I checked my balance again and nothing.
I'm pressing charges if I find the loser crew
Who keep doing that crap.
It happened on the 1st of December 2017 too.
Taylor loser scandal momsen is doing most of this because I told on her.
She is obnoxious.
Taylor thinks she is allowed to steal my writing and use it.
Not at all