Window Diary by me

 Window Diary

By

Jessica S

I saw a tall pale man standing in the display window the other day. 

He had a blank canvas inside his own window. 

I kept looking at my own feet. It was like I drew a card that didn't have a face.

I studied my feet for a while and then I realized how much I wanted to talk to him.

It felt like being thirsty and insane with his presence.

He was so thin and silent.

My paranoia kept reminding me of aborted fetuses screaming as they were rejected. 

I can't do this.

And then I actually spoke to him. 

He was aware of the noise.

He looked around for a few minutes and then he looked down to see me. 

I almost choked as I swallowed my own pride. 

The man was a lot of everything else I can relate to but we are so different and I watched as he turned away. He managed to step on my shoes as he departed. 

He didn't think very much of me at all.

If I had not said stop hurting me, he would have gone on standing there. Because I didn't matter at all.