Free Breath
By; Jessica Anne Singleton
A fictional story that will never happen.
If it is my hand that is connected to my own arm, then give me a reason why I have to have your permission to do anything with it? You did not make me. You cannot buy me. I do not owe you anything. I have debt in your name. So who gave you the right to think for me, when you do not even think for yourself?
She sat on the park bench and she watched the fall weather chase the dead leaves through the streets like school children in a hurry to get home.
Home is something to ponder. The idea of feeling at home. To have the idea that you have a place to go. Somewhere that belongs to you. And then the fear that it can be taken from you for no other reason then someone just wanted to watch you sleep on the sidewalk. There is this hollowness in it. To be completely alone literally in ones self and in mind.
Nothing can change the way an animal looks at the person who hit it. The fear that leads to pleading. Even when the animal kisses the person's ass and sits by them, even then it is only out of fear. Don't mistake that. No one can love you after you have raped them of their own soul.
She knew that time was flying out into the streets with the wind, but even if she acted upon it, it would go no where. There was no changing what was already going to happen anyway.
If fear and pain sat side by side on either sides of a balancing scale, then they would tye in their game of tug of war with the poor soul that they decided to devour. The mind would just linger on the thread of void forever. Until the person shot themselves in the head or one of their own emotions just gave up on its own.
When she got up to go home, it was only because she did not have a choice. It was late and cold and she did not have a coat on. She walked to her box and she turned on the light. It was so dim that she had to have reading glasses for the simplest of things. She went to the bathroom to refresh herself, and then she made herself a glass of ice water.
She sat with a book and she put it all way for a few chapters. It was the only release that she could find from her own hell.
The day that just wouldn't take no for an answer. Then she decided that she would go to bed, but the bed felt like a stranger to her body. Her mind was not at ease. She was so cold and her back hurt so bad. It felt like a rusty staircase that was bending backwards into her mattress.
Finally by 4 AM, she took a sleeping pill. But only to cause her more ware and tare. She'd have to be up by 9 and now she'd feel drugged and broken.
The day would not give her a bed to rest her mind on.
Life would grip at her throat until the day it took her life away from her. And for no other reason then it just did not care and it had nothing better to do.
In my own pain, I found you there. You were never there but you were there.
Thank you for giving me closure.
Even when it broke me, I finally knew where you stood and it gave me a bitter sweet peace. Just to know..... Better then not knowing. Breath is a given right to life. And you need a price from me. And you kill me before you let me go free.
The End
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