Random story idea

When I think of freedom, I remember the parts of my childhood that were not nightmares. 

When I was a child, I would stare out the window at all the grey weather. I hated being locked up. But it was cold and rainy. I liked going for a car ride with my parents. We always stopped off somewhere to get a drink. 

Things like that seem simple. Most of my life I felt trapped and abused. I wanted to go anywhere else. 

Until the walls that abused me, became my sanctuary. 

I felt so broken that I just lied in bed staring off into space. 

Eventually I started to take off. 

I went everywhere that I could but like everything else, it was not anything that I would want.

I wanted to be happy but that word was a foreign exchange that had an under taste. 

When you travel, you see the item of your obsession in front of you. 

That's it.

Unless you can touch, taste, hear or smell it, you might as well be looking at the picture instead. 

Shopping, eating and entertaining is it. You sit through life staring at the wall.

Unless you work. 

Then if you get married, you're stuck talking to that other person. Until you have sex with them. Then when you have a child with them, you try to make sure that they don't talk to the child so they don't screw it up. 

Life is just existing.

The only difference between your life or someone else's life is a matter of who has a better prescription to get through it. 

Sadly I don't know how to answer people when they say that I should find a way to be happy. I think that what they mean to say is,

That they enjoy abusing me. That they think I should find a way to look past the abuse. 

Even if I was not constantly humiliated, abused and punished, what is there? I mean life is pathetic and boring. Do they think that I will climb a mountain or practice zen?

I am sick of being mocked as much as I am sick of being abused. 

So I'm going to write a story . 

The kettle 

By

Jessica Singleton 

When you live in fear most of your life, then it's a foreign concept to think that you will not have to keep looking over your shoulder. 

It's not a desire for the worst possibility, it's the caution of reality.

I came from a dark place and I knew things that would make you wonder if they were really asleep.  

So when I moved into my new house, I kept the kettle on the stove. It's the idea that in case you can't sleep or you're up late due to the war outside that there is always a warm pot of water for tea or coffee. 

The first moments of starting over are always the worst because it feels like you lost some part of yourself. If you had your old life back, then you would not be here doing all of the obvious again. 

I realized that I was pushing everyone away. So I made myself think before I spoke. People deserve a chance to express how they feel. I don't have to agree with them but I can respect them for what they are. 

I can't believe how far I have come. 

Shortly after in my perfect clean house, I met a company who could help me with my case. I had more than enough time. It actually didn't take much and I was able to get somewhere with my case. I got all of my money back. It did not take a day or a week.