By;
Jessica Singleton
To; My only God EL...
If I was given a choice between here with everything that could be.
Even every chance that life never gave me
or to stand by you and to constantly work for you.
I would throw all those chances away.
If I was told that I would finally be happy.
Even safe...
I would not care.
I do not need to think it over.
I already know.
I'd rather be in heaven with my own set of wings.
I know there are so many amazing things that the world can offer.
People go into debt everyday
just to experience a knock off version of those things.
But what is the point in experience if your back breaks from all that experience and your will is raped.
It really does not matter the day you have to sell it all off in a yard sale, just to pay the electric bill.
I know what all those experiences mean and I know what they look like.
They are always held so high over my head.
But I would rather not feel anything at all.
To me, I have felt enough pain to last 2 thousand different life times.
All of the good things.
All of the dear moments
Do not matter if they end this way.
Why love at all?
Just to feel the pain of losing them.
How could words like love matter, when you know in the end, when put through this, they would not mean anything to them at all.
I don't need a pill collection.
I do not plan on killing myself.
I just wanted you to know,
that I finally learned my lesson.
You really are the only one who matters and you are the only one who cares.
I'm only sorry that it took me so long to figure it out.
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