" They were as shallow
as their front yards. "
- Ernest Hemingway
" You think you have seen the worst thing. The thing that coalesces all your nightmares into a freakish horror that actually exists. " - Stephen King
" My wars are laid away in books. " - Emily Dickinson
1
Jason was a thin man. He was so skinny that he looked like a bean pole. His wife was short and very thin.
Jason was not allowed to smoke cigarettes in his own house. Because when his mother in law came by to visit, she had a radar for senses. His wife always became sad. So he would walk outside and stroll to the park for a smoke.
On most days this was not a problem. But when it rains outside, you really don't want to be standing in the rain with a cigarette.
Jason almost wished his mother in law knew what it felt like to accommodate the needs of others by neglecting or abusing herself. It was a horrible thought but his thoughts were his only release from reality and knowledge. His imagination felt like his soul at times.
Jason would imagine his obnoxious mother in law walking through the front door and a butler would insist on putting her coat and purse away for her.
But she would throw a stinking fit like a loud child. Of course she could never go without her purse. That was like a life jacket. Then her coat could never leave her side either. She was always complaining about the temperature in Jason's home. Did not matter what he set it at, she was never happy.
So the butler being a respected man who always listens to the lady of the house would pick her up with her pathetic items and he would put them all into the hallway closet,
Then her obnoxious amplified demands would echo from the dark hall.
Everyone who came to visit would wonder if Jason left the radio on.
He would assure them he did not leave the radio on.
And in return, all his company would point out how annoying Bri his mother in law was to listen to.
Then the bag of wind would have that second opinion she was seeking from beyond.
Jason thought of using his vacation time to go see the world with his wife. She was worried about chi. Considering how pathetic and lonely the bag of wind was.
If they left town, what would become of mother Bri ?
Jason knew not to ask what his wife had in mind.
But he asked her what she wanted.
" Well mother should come with us. We can pay for her too, she deserves it. "
Jason realized that he would be taking a vacation with his wife and her mother. So he would not be able to smoke on a ten hour flight. A flight narrated by his mother in law. Then the consolidation prize would be if there was a bingo hall, so she could gamble the pennies she saved from the h bomb.
And if she gets bored, even though she is the reason why no one does anything, you can hope the hotel lobby has magazines. If one has a recipe, then she will spend all night rehearsing it. More like a crazy bird mocking something mediocre until it is as important as the United States flag.
Jason sat in the park with his cigarette and then he walked home.
Normally unless it is payday-
Good news is rare.
Jason walked into his house and then his wife told him the great news.
" mother gave me all my inheritance upfront. She is senile. Well a lawyer did it so it's legal and permanent. She is going back to her nursing home. Now she will be happy with her friend. We don't have to deal with her anymore. You can't visit her in the home for old people because you smoke. When I visit, I will have to do it alone. We are free to do whatever we want and we don't have to be punished for insanity anymore. "
The End
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