Penny Coats and Cloths
By Jessica A Singleton
A Fictional Story that will never happen anywhere
Forgiveness runs inside of other people's minds. The insane ones that do not know the difference between reality and fiction. That is how they can let it go and just forgive the asshole who punched them in the face. You'd think at this point as far gone as I am, that I'd know how to forgive someone. I do not know when insanity will kick in. Heaven knows it has been given more then an invitation at this point. As much as I have been through.
Anna sat on the park bench with her new purse and her new cell phone. She was on her lunch break. It was Wednesday and Friday was payday. This was her first job since she graduated college. She was just starting out and everything was so important to her. Her whole life she had been a guest who was never invited to a list of worthless shit. It felt that way. She was never invited anywhere, she just existed in other people's lives. Like they dragged her out of her own life and then placed her at a table. Only to mock and throw things at her. She felt like an orphan. Now she was an adult and nothing had changed. Anna was glad that she was no longer a child but she did not want to be thrown out into the world empty. So she made a point to make everything perfect. That way no one would notice her and no one would hurt her more. When the children's home sent her off to college with nothing but a backpack full of clothes, she got a half ass job at a book store. She was really good at her job there. So she bought herself the things that she needed.
When she got her first job, she bought herself a fossil purse from Dillards that she wanted. She also got herself her own phone. When you are always packed up and moving from one home to another, then you do not stay around long enough to make friends. Her contact list was empty on her phone.
So she put in her work phone number to the company she now worked for and Pizza Hut's phone number.
So now she had delivery on speed dial with a Pearl Jam ring tone. It made her feel even more alone but the idea of letting anyone in was too much. It hurt to even think about that kind of intrusion to her life. How could you imagine such nonsense? That was foreign to her. A life with someone else that you actually knew.
Her first home was an apartment. She was buying it though. More like a two bedroom town house. It was brick. There was nothing there except a bed and dresser.
This Friday she was going to go furniture shopping. Inside of her purse she kept the paper back that she was reading at the time. It was a new Barker book. That made her happy. 12;30 rolls around faster when you have a good book to read.
On her walk back to work, she saw a pet shop window. It had a tiny kitten playing in the window.
The cat looked like a Siamese breed. It was too cute. The earliest and saddest memory that Anna had was of a cat.
Anna was sitting in her front yard and her mother was yelling at her father. Anna had a kitten and she had her doll Sarah with her. Then her dad left. He ran by her and on his way he knocked over her mud pie mold.
Her mother came running after him yelling about not leaving without trying.
Anna looked up and she did not understand.
Maybe he was going to the store again.
Maybe he'd be back when it was late like usual.
Then her mom yelling about Anna being outside and in the mud like that would make him turn around and stay to defend his little girl.
Nope he got in his truck and he sped off.
Anna's mother jerked her up and whipped her all the way to the bathroom where she cleaned her off.
Within two days her mother was drunk again.
Then her mother was gone again.
She did not come home for two days this time.
Anna had been left alone again.
Then a social worker came over.
The next thing Anna knew she was being taken.
The adults around her kept going on about neglect.
When Anna was placed in her first foster home, she ask when she'd see her mommy again?
They told her that her mother would be given a chance at weekend visitation rights that were supervised.
Weekends came and went. Then years went by and before long, Anna ask about it to the social worker instead of the foster mom.
The social worker told Anna that her mother was given the choice to see Anna but she did not want it.
When Anna was 18 years old, she had looked her mom up. Her mother was remarried and told Anna that she was just a mistake that she made and that she was sorry but it is best to leave the past behind you.
Then she told Anna that she was too old to raise a teenage daughter. Anna was not welcomed in her life any longer.
When Anna ask what happened to her old cat fluffy?
Her mother told her that she did not want to raise a mangy cat. She gave that thing to the pound and told them to put it down.
Anna looked up her father once. He was nothing but a loser who drank his life away. He did not remember her until she showed him a picture. He did not want her around either.
It did not make a difference. Her 11 years in foster care gave her time to adjust to being orphaned and abandoned. If he or her mother had shown even the slightest bit of care it would be impossible to adjust to. How could you? Hi nothing is wrong. Hug me now.
She got back to her office by 12;56. Lunch is over at 1 pm. Not bad for a lunch break. The good thing about her office was that it over looked a beautiful park. The week flew by like birds springing to life from a rain bath.
When Friday came around she went to the store on the city corner. She walked in and she found the perfect couch and chair. Then she found a lovely bookshelf for her books. No more excuses to stack everything to the ceiling. Now she could make her own home.
The weekends were her days off. She used Saturdays to clean and Sundays to rest. Sundays she went out to eat at a Vegan cafe that offered more chocolate then a candy store. Then she read in the park and she'd watch the ducks.
Life started to feel normal again. Just long enough to where you get used to it. The moral of every story is never get used to anything. Nothing is forever. Then one rainy night nothing sounded good for dinner. Anna had had a long day at work. She did not want to cook. So she went to a movie and a Veggie pizza slice.
When she was in her usual haunt for dinner she met a man. He accidentally bumped into her. It seemed innocent enough. Then they started to talk. He was perfect. Very good looking, kind, smart and he was around her age.
They went to the movie together. They started to date. It took her a while, but she let him in. He kept asking about her life. He told her that he loved her. Then one night he started to say that Anna should move in with him. It was not soon. At that point, they'd been dating for 2 years. Everything in life had started to work out.
Anna moved in with him. To do that she had to sell her home. All her money became his. Then he left her for someone else. Anna found out how he met her. He left her for a girl that worked with her.
They needed to pay themselves out of debt. Anna was a target. They studied her. Then he pretended to date her.
Then he used her only to throw her out into the cold rain.
Anna was alone again.
She did not have her books or clothes.
He changed the locks.
So Anna cried. She sat down on the sidewalk and she put her hands over her face while she cried. That is when her phone went off. She had a phone and someone got the wrong number. After remembering that she had a phone to begin with, it reminded her that she lived in the real world with real binding contracts. In the real world there are laws and there are cops who work to make those laws go into effect.
So she called the police.
What that asshole boyfriend did was illegal. The cops came. He was forced to let Anna get her things and because her name was now on the deed, he could not kick her out but she could kick him out. She owned the place. He never did because he was a bum who never had any money of his own.
So he and his scanky girlfriend had to leave in the rain. He did not have much.
It rained all over his fake leather jacket.
Anna sold the new house.
She bought herself a sky scrapper so that she could see the birds in the sky and she got a cat. She named it Twinkle.
My mother read me a story once. It had a moral not a happy ending. Someone came around and they took away my happy possibility so I decided that I was not going to negotiate with my own life. Who gave anyone under god that right to take my own life from me. So my story ended with moral values instead of bull shit.
The End
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