I'm alone and up to late in these hours .
The day is Wednesday.
The house looks neglected again.
I begged for a haven.
I ran away.
I found you.
Now I drift away to the thought of you
so that for a moment I'm happy again.
I worry they will take you away.
I worry you will be hurt.
More than anything I am afraid that
I will screw this up.
I am good at that.
Memories and lies
I keep telling myself all the things
I can't accept
Because if I don't lie to myself now
Then I will never be able to deal with the day you leave.
I'm good at making up fiction in my mind and pushing you away.
You are amazing and impossible to forget.
The only truth I can't shake
Is how much I love you.
Instead
I will not lie to you.
Instead I will let you in.
I don't normally do that.
Instead of someone else-
I will pick you.
No one else is here.
Even if they were-
I already know
They could never replace you
And nothing could make me
Stop loving you.
I have no secret mo
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